Constant Craving
by TheGreenBook
Summary: This starts midway through Clockwork Prince, when Will, Jem, and Tessa are in. Yorkshire and could contain spoilers. Slash/Smut/Angst. Will/Jem, Will/Magnus, Woolsey/Magnus...Will/Jem/Tessa...Lots of love and lust. Please read, enjoy, and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I don't want to say a lot and take away from this fic. It was written after I read Clockwork Prince and starts towards the beginning of the book, when Will, Tessa, and Jem travel to Yorkshire and this scene in particular does take place in Yorkshire. I'm not sure where to go with this story, but I have some ideas, it's just a matter of everything else going on with my life settling down enough to allow me to be a good human being WHILE writing stories. This rating could go up to M, it all depends on what I get into as far as plot.**

**This story contains the pairing of Will/Jem and Will/Magnus, as well as light, slashy smut. DO NOT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU AND DO NOT FLAME ME FOR IT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. This is a work of fiction based on the characters in Cassandra Clare's Infernal Devices series. No money is being made on this work. This is a work of fiction and should be treated as such. I will accept critiques but not flames. Reviews are most definitely encouraged. Please enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Constant Craving<strong>

**Chapter 1**

When Will walked into Jem's bedroom, he found the silver haired boy sitting beside a small window which let in a cool, damp breeze. Jem should have been asleep. The trip to Yorkshire had taken much of the day and once there, they had seen the room full of ghastly spoils which caused each to react in their own way. Tessa had nearly fainted and had to be taken away, something Jem struggled to recover from. He and Will had seen spoils before, and even knew how ugly the business of spoils could be, but had never anticipated the revulsion which came with seeing such a vast collection. Will had needed a drink once the viewing was finished.

Jem was dressed in his nightclothes already, a pair of flannel pants and a dark shirt that must have belonged to Will at once point but had been pilfered from Will's closet. The silver haired boy was reading book by the light of a single candle and looked up only when Will pushed the door closed and locked it.

"Congratulations are in order, I would presume," Will said, "In regards to your… engagement?" Jem snapped closed the book he was reading as Will walked over. Seeing no other place to sit, Will flopped onto the bed, stretching his long legs out, waiting for Jem to say… something?

"Did you have a better plan?" Jem asked. He brushed some hair away from his eyes and studied Will. "We couldn't very well say that she is a mundane who decided to travel with us. That's not right or proper."

"But it's right and proper for you to say she is your fiancée?" Will asked. His voice came out more pleading than expected. Jem's eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch, but his face showed no other indication to Will's pain. "What if she believes that you want to marry her? What if she thinks you could be together… forever?"

Jem looked down at the floor, clearing his throat. Will studied him, his jaw set, his eyes feeling hot with something. Jem couldn't promise Tessa forever any more than he could promise Will forever.

"You care for her, don't you?" Will asked. "I saw you, this evening. You care for her."

"I care for her the same way I care for you," Jem said. He stood up and tossed his book onto the bedside table. The candle on the windowsill cast long shadows on the wall. Will thought back to a very cold night, the plaintive cries of a boy caught in a nightmare, the rough fabric on an upholstered arm chair, a sweaty hand in his, and a single candle burning, the only light left in a dark room. They had come so far together. "Will, where were you tonight? We're guests here. It was impolite for you to sneak out after dinner."

"I went down to the tavern, where I had a few drinks. On my way back I was accosted by a lovely young girl who decided to show me all that Yorkshire had to offer. It would only right that I take all she had to offer," Will said.

Jem smiled ruefully, knowing the truth yet not wanting to say it. He was always good with Will at being dishonest at all the right times. Jem knew how Will spent his evening, at the end of a lonely bar, one drink in his hand all night. Will could have stayed in, pilfered Starkweather's liquor cabinet, and be drunker than he was now, but Jem knew Will always had a need to escape and come back when he was ready.

Will reached into his pocket, brought out a cinnamon candy, and tossed it to Jem. Jem opened the wrapper of the candy and popped the red disk into his mouth. He looked down at the floor, at his bare feet cold against the floorboards. "You care for her," Will said again.

When Jem looked up again, his eyes were wide with fear, and something else, something Will couldn't identify, not then, anyway.

"When she fainted in the spoils room, I was so scared, William, so very scared," Jem said, his voice just above a breath. "I might know now… how you could care about me so deeply. You love me, Will, and every time I'm hurt, or I get sick, a part of you dies, and it eventually comes back to life, but for a moment there, that part is… dead."

"That's morbid," Will said.

"It is the truth," Jem said. "I know Tessa didn't die, but seeing her in anguish like that… it felt like death, William." There was silence in the room broken only by Jem's soft and quiet breathing.

"I know how that feels," Will said. He stood up and took Jem in his arms the way he used to whenever Jem was scared. "You're frightened, aren't you?" Jem closed his eyes and rested his face against Will's shoulder. Will kiss him gently on the forehead, moving the soft hair aside to feel the boy's hot skin against his lips. Jem clutched at Will's shirt tail, searching for skin and comfort.

"Love makes me afraid," Jem whispered. "To love someone is to set yourself up to one day lose them, and for them to lose you. I never knew, Will. I never fell in love before…" Will sighed and looked heavenward, thanking the Angel despite already knowing this. Jem loved Will, yes, but not in the way Ella did, or even Tessa could have. There was no danger to Jem loving Will, for Jem would die having never learned of the curse.

"I love you," Will said. He ran one hand through Jem's hair and the other down Jem's chest to the top of his flannel pajama pants. "Do you want me to show you how much I love you?"

Jem smiled, the first proper smile Will had seen on his lips in some time. He reached up and opened the top buttons of his shirt before he pulled the shirt over his head. Will pulled away, if only to removed his shirt and undershirt. They fell together onto the tiny, quilt covered guest bed with Will's arms around Jem's body. Jem moved his hands down Will's sides, touching his ribs. All of the places that should have felt ticklish instead ached for Jem's eager grabs and gentle caresses. There was a need they had for one another. In the same way they needed to breathe, they craved the closeness they only had with one another.

"My undoing," Jem whispered against Will's lips.

"My sin," Will replied.

The cinnamon candy in Jem's mouth had dissolved quickly, leaving behind a spicy sweet scent that only heightened once Will joined his lips to Jem's. It had been far too long since they were together like this, what with Tessa and Mortmain and with all of the change happening at the Institute. Will hadn't felt the bare skin of Jem's chest against his own in nearly a month, yet it felt as though he and Jem were meant to be together this way. They knew each other's bodies perfectly, the scars each had endured, the painful healing time spent together. Jem's body was the same broken and weary body Will had nursed back to health time and time again. Tonight, in Will's arms, Jem felt strong and healthy, as if nothing bad could ever happen to him, but had things had happened, and might continue to happen.

There was a scar across Will's lower back from the talon of an awful demon. No one ever saw the scar, save for Jem. Will was the only person who saw the white lines across Jem's torso from another time Jem almost died. Their bodies were near replicas of Marks placed in the same spots by one another. After their first Healing runes were drawn by Henry, it was only one another who applied runes to their bodies behind closed doors, in times painful, passionate, and frightening. Jem's body belonged to Will in the same way that Will's body belonged to Jem.

When Will pressed his thumbs into the muscles between Jem's hips, he knew that Jem would gasp against his lips and move his lower body closer to Will's lower body. Jem knew that whenever he ran his fingers up Will's spine with hardly any pressure at all, Will would shiver, and he did, his body not fighting to get away from Jem, but rather moving that much closer. It was like this always, as it always had been. Some things between them never changed.

Jem pulled away first, laying back onto the covers of the bed, his eyes smiling as his face remained serious. Will untied the drawstring of Jem's pants, pulled them down, and tossed them onto the floor. Jem slid his nimble fingers down Will's chest to the button on his trousers and quickly relieved Will of them. Then there was more skin on skin, heat on cold sweat as Jem tried to end up in the same place Will was pushing him towards. Jem spread his knees, inviting Will closer, his fingers running hot trails up and down Will's back. Will groaned as his arousal seemed to build without any sort of relief in sight. Their lips became painful against one another's as their bodies, slick with moisture, moved together. Jem ran his hands up and down Will's body, across his chest, pulling him close, begging him, silently, for something, anything.

When it was over, they lay together in the dying light of the flickering candle, barely covered up with a sheet. Will had his arms around Jem's body, his lips to the middle of Jem's back, knowing they couldn't fall asleep together, not even here in Yorkshire. Only silence remained between them, where before, there was heat and passion and Will whispering _"I love you, James? Did you know that? I love you."_

"You should go to bed. Big day tomorrow," Jem mumbled. He lifted Will's right arm to his mouth and kissed it on the wrist, right over the rune they both shared. Jem was always the voice of reason, the one to say they should be careful when Will wanted to be anything but careful. "I could only imagine what might happen if old Starkweather caught us in bed together."

"Maybe he wouldn't be so unkind to Charlotte if the shock of two boys naked in bed caused him to die of shock," Will mused. Jem climbed out of bed and found his pants which he pulled up over his hips. Will sat up, running his eyes up and down the boy of the boy who was closer to him than a brother, a boy he knew so intimately, he wasn't sure where he ended and that boy began. Jem's back was to Will, his actions already intent of sending Will on his way, always the voice of reason. "You know, if the Clave knew I was in love with you, they would tear us apart."

"Then maybe my being with Tessa is for the best," Jem said. He dropped his shirt over his head and turned to Will. "Right?"

Will shivered as a cold feeling settled in his chest. This was heart break, finding out that what he wanted was nothing like what Jem wanted. It was a cruel twist: to have happiness in sight, only to have it snatched away by the one person he could never say no to.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading, please review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! Please feel free to offer more. Otherwise, please enjoy! Also, this chapter begins one week after the end of Clockwork Prince and could contain spoilers for Clockwork Prince, just so you are warned. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<br>****_One week later_**

When dinner was finished, Jem and Tessa snuck off to the Library under the guise of studying. Will watched them walk out, and couldn't help but notice that Jem had his hand in Tessa's before the dining room door was even closed. Will had to smile at the word "studying." He and Jem used to have much better excuses for sneaking off together, as Charlotte and Henry would have never believed Will and Jem were so diligent about studying nearly three times a week. Instead, Will and Jem duties as far as excuses were concerned. Sometimes, Will would mention at dinner that he and Jem were going to clean up a storage room upstairs, which Charlotte was grateful For. Other times, Jem would say they were going to practice knife throwing in the training room. Whenever Jem said with a straight face that he and Will were going to go exploring for the upper levels of the Institute, it took every musle in Will's body to keep him from laughing out loud.

But those days were over. Now, instead of wanting to run up and down dark hallways with Will, or even enjoy some carnal pursuits, Jem wanted to go to the Library, sit with his beloved fiancee, and study with her...that was, unless he wanted to do more naughty things with her. Judging by the way he looked at her, like he would hike her dress up to her thighs and rip her panties down the instant she allowed him to, anything was possible.

Gideon and Sophie went to walk about the Institute and get to know one another better, as was the course of action for courtships which began under the Institute's roof. Charlotte took Cecily to get settled in, no doubt suspicious at the young girl's sudden arrival. Will didn't mind. He didn't know what to say to Cecily, he didn't know what to say to anyone.

When everyone left the dining room, Will realized that everyone else was off being in love, experiencing all love had to offer, while he remained alone. There was a time before he would have welcomed this- finally, there was no need to worry about people loving him, because there was no one left to love him. Yet now, when he should have been happy and relieved, he instead wanted to feel in love. He wanted to fall in love and feel his heart pound by just being in someone else's presence, and yet, he felt nothing, not happiness, not excitement, not thrill at Jem's good fortune or Tessa's happiness… nothing. He stood up from his seat at the table and went upstairs, thinking he would sit in his room until he finally fell asleep, but once he got to his bedroom he grabbed a top hat and coat, pulled them on, and walked back out of the room. He went downstairs, snuck out the front door, and started walking.

In time Will found himself on another side of town, close to the Chelsea Embankment and Cheyne Walk and number 16, where Magnus summoned a demon who gave Will answers to the questions that plagued his mind and the curse he thought he was under. Will didn't need to be there, didn't need to be near the warlock who would demand his favor be returned, and yet keeping himself away didn't seem possible. Within minutes, Will was sliding open the gate in front of the house and walking up to the front door. He lifted his hand and knocked.

After a moment, the door opened and Magnus peered out. He was dressed in black pants and a hastily tied dressing gown that was too big for him. It would have fit better on the broad shoulders of a man who spent some of his time running about the city in wolf form. Magnus was thin in the shoulders, tall but not muscular. Will smiled. At least he was right about one thing: the warlock was having relations with the werewolf.

"Yes, William?" Magnus asked. His hair was wet and stuck to his face and his skin smelled of sandalwood and shea, nothing like Jem's lavender and spice scent.

Will leaned against the doorframe and smiled. "Where's your lover?"

"I resent you thinking… he's not my… it's none of your business…" Magnus sputtered. Will rolled his eyes and yawned. "He's at work. Meeting with his pack. He'll be back before sunrise. Why are you here?"

"Seemed like a nice night for a walk," Will said, gesturing to the clear sky overhead. "Besides, I grew used to seeing your charming face night after night. Don't you feel the same?" Magnus quickly swallowed. His face was cast in a half shadow. There was no doubt in Will's mind that the warlock had to be blushing. "So are you going to invite me in? Or will you leave me on the doorstep for your lover to find in the morning? I do like a man who likes it rough, and your wolf man...why there's no telling what he could do to me." Magnus rolled his eyes, grabbed Will by the arm, and pulled him inside. Will staggered down a hallway after Magnus, all the way down to a small kitchen with a table covered with cards set up for solitaire. There was a tea kettle on the stove just starting to boil. "Camille really left you with nothing, didn't she?"

"Why are you here, William?" Magnus asked again. He turned off the tea kettle.

"Why are you wearing the werewolf's clothes?" Will asked. He took off his coat and tossed it over a chair.

"Because I left Camille's with nothing but the clothes on my back," Magnus said. "Your turn. Why are you here?"

"For the same reason as you," Will said. He unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and pushed them up to his elbows. There was a scar on his forearm, still red and angry and ripped looking, and he hadn't yet looked at the damage to his back.

"And why is that?" Magnus asked. Will turned around and rummaged through a cupboard, thinking he would serve Magnus tea, only, he couldn't find the teacups and doubted Magus knew where they were either. Then Magnus appeared beside him, pulling opening cupboards, rummaging as well.

"There's nowhere else to go," Will said. "Nowhere else I want to be anyway." Magnus snatched two mugs out of a cupboard over the stove and set them on the counter.

"Milk and sugar?" He asked, turning towards the ice box.

"I remember the kiss," Will said.

"Milk and sugar?" Magnus asked, "What kiss?" His cheeks flamed bright red and he tried to avert his eyes. "You and Tessa on the balcony? That kiss?" Magnus was good at ripping Will's heart out, when he didn't even know he was doing it.

"No. When I was all disoriented and Camille showed up. You kissed me for some reason, and I remember it," Will said. He smiled intrepidly. "Remember?"

"It was nothing. Just… It was complicated. And stupid," Magnus said. "I don't know what I was thinking. It was… do you want milk and sugar, Herondale?" He opened the icebox and brought out a frosty jar of milk.

"Now it's Herondale," Will said. "Is that anyway to refer to the man you locked lips with?" Magnus blushed red again, walked back to the counter, poured two cups of tea, and deftly added milk and sugar. When that was finished he returned to the icebox with the milk. Once the milk was installed back in the icebox, he stepped close to Will, who reached out, grabbed Magnus around the waist, pulled his body close, and kissed him once on the lips. Magnus tried to pull away, only, Will wrapped his arms around the warlock's shoulders and pressed their lips together once again.

Magnus moaned and struggled to get away, even as his chest slammed into Will's sore body. His lips parted and he pressed Will against the countertop, so that Will had to put his right hand down to keep his balance. He pressed his lips harder against Magnus's, forcing the warlock to kiss harder, faster, more painfully than before. Not since Jem had Will felt someone give so much of themselves with a kiss. Even Tessa, for how passionate she kissed, was nothing compared to the heat and lust and pure fire of Magnus's kiss.

Will gasped as Magnus pulled away from him. He lifted his hand, trying to reach out, grab Magnus, and just hold him close, but the warlock stepped backwards and straightened his dressing gown, which had slipped aside to show more tan skin than it had before. Magnus walked around the kitchen table, his eyes down, needing to put actual furniture between he and Will.

"Just so you know, I remember the kiss," Will said. Magnus nodded and ran his fingers through his long, silky hair, still not looking at Will. "I liked the kiss… then and now. I liked it. And you aren't the first man I've kissed either. Jem and I…" Magnus looked up at Will, shocked. "It's been years, really. I can't remember when it started but… it's been years of he and I, together."

"Why are you telling me this?" Magnus asked.

"You can love me," Will said simply. "Love me because I can love you back. There's no danger in it." Magnus shuddered and fell into his chair. He rearranged the cards on the table, sorting them into different piles. "Come, love, isn't that what you wanted? I see how you look at me. All starry eyed. Don't I owe you a favor?"

"A favor! A favor is… smoothing things over with the Clave. Running an errand for me. It's not… sexual," Magnus said, his voice coming out strained. "You're just a boy, William. You've got along on your charms and looks this long, but…"

"I assure you I am more than just a boy," Will said. "You know you want me, Magnus. Otherwise you would have never kissed me the first time, or now. You just can't help yourself. I have everything you desire." Magnus groaned and covered his eyes.

"You should go, William, please," Magnus said. He shuffled his cards and gestured towards the front door.

"So can I stay with you?" Will asked.

"I'm a guest here myself!" Magnus exclaimed. "Woolsey's house isn't like your Institute. It's not here to provide shelter to people who have nowhere else to go. He owes me a favor, that's all." Will was already nodding, watching Magnus sputter. "I plan to leave shortly and besides, a Shadowhunter lodging with a warlock and a werewolf and… it's unnatural! It's wrong! It's… Why can't you stay at the Institute?"

"Because Tessa is at the Institute, and so is Jem, and…" Will said. He looked away from Magnus, not daring himself to give the real reason why he wanted to stay somewhere other than the Institute: Jem and Tessa were there, happy and in love, and there was little Will could do about it, and he couldn't bear to sit by, unable to decide how to feel about them.

"Oh, Will," Magnus whispered. He stood up, walked over and laced his fingers with the finger on Will's right hand, so that their palms were close together. His other hand came up and traced Will's cheekbones, all the way down is face to his jaw line. Magnus didn't have to say anything, he had been around long enough and knew enough people to know what heartbreak looked like. Magnus knew that with love, there were always choices, and sometimes, the choice made wasn't always in the right person's favor.

"So can I just stay the night? It's not like they'll notice me gone," Will said.

"Stay down here. I'll make up a bed for you," Magnus said. He released Will's hand and left the room. Will waited a second, then walked out of the kitchen and followed Magnus upstairs to the second floor, all the way to the room where Magnus had summoned Marbas. By the time Will got there, Magnus had a fire in the fireplace and the bed already covered with a quilt.

"I promise I won't be any bother. I'll be gone in the morning. I just need a night…" Will said. Magnus waved away his concerns and put the finishing touches on an arm chair beside the fireplace and a table beside the bed. Books materialized out of nowhere and ended up on the bedside table, along with a brightly lit gas lamp.

"The bathroom is just down the hall. I'll be sure you have a toothbrush. My room is across the hall, should you need anything," Magnus said.

"Convenient," Will said. He reached up and began to unbutton his shirt. Magnus hovered by the door, trying not to watch, unable to look away. "Let me know when you want to cash in on your favor."

"You're bad for business," Magnus said, as Will's shirt parted down the center, revealing the tight muscles across his chest. Hs stomach was flat, with just a bit of hair on his lower stomach, running a thin line down into the waist band of his pants, which just barely clung to his hips. Magnus lips his lips and sighed, just loud enough for Will to hear. "Good night, William." Will smiled as Magnus walked out of the bedroom.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! Please enjoy this next chapter!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The clock downstairs had just struck midnight when Will looked up from his pacing and reading of The Mystery Edwin Drood. Within the small collection of the books Magnus left behind had been a sampling of works by Dickens. Will hadn't planned on picking up any of those stories, not wanting to think of Tessa and a Tale of Two Cites, however, when he happened across Edwin Drood, he couldn't help himself.

The creak of a floorboard outside of the bedroom startled Will, though by time the doorknob turned he had relaxed himself. He crossed his arms over his chest, then dropped them to his side, then lifted them again and flipped to a random page in the book as the door opened and Magnus walked in, carrying a tray with a mug on it.

"You didn't have any tea," Magnus said. "I brought you some hot brandy, to help you sleep." He set the tray on the bedside table and turned for the door.

"I was reading Edwin Drood," Will said. "Do you know anything about the story?" Magnus paused beside the door.

"It's unfinished, right?" Magnus asked.

"Correct. Dickens died midway through its publication. No one knows how he intended for it to end." Magnus nodded.

"Was there anything else you needed? I'm planning to go to bed," Magnus said. He looked over at Will's bed and at the rumpled pile of clothing at the end of it. Will was still dressed in his trousers, but had put on a long shirt intended for sleep.

"I couldn't imagine leaving anything unfinished," Will said. He closed the book and set it on the mantle over the fireplace. "There always has to be some sort of… conclusion." He walked over to Magnus, stepping close to him, the way they were down in the kitchen. He touched Magnus on the waist, and then ran his fingers down to Magnus's hips. He drew Magnus closer and kissed him once gently upon the lips. Magnus looked up into Will's eyes.

"I fear you have gotten the wrong idea," Magnus said. "I don't want you, Will. I helped you, yes. But I can't…" Will kissed Magnus on the cheek, and then twisted his fingers into his hair. Will pulled Magnus's head to the side and kissed Magnus on the neck. His left hand untied Magnus's dressing gown and tossed it onto the floor, leaving the warlock dressed only in flannel pants.

"You can't what?" Will asked. Magnus moaned. "Give into your carnal desires? It's not like you haven't been lusting after me since the first time you ever saw me. If I am to leave here tomorrow and you are to never see me again, wouldn't you want your last memory of me to be…pleasant?"

"Anything more than business between you and I is forbidden," Magnus said. Will kissed his lips again. "Moreover…"

"This is business." Will pushed Magnus's pants down slightly and moved his thumbs over the skin between the warlock's hips. He looked down and smiled as Magnus's cock stiffened just the slightest bit beneath the fabric of his pants. Will kissed Magnus's neck again, tracing his tongue over the pounding pulse beneath Magnus's jaw line. He teased his lips gently under Magnus's ear, and whispered, "Would it shock you, Magnus, if I said I wanted you as badly as you want me?" Magnus shuddered and his fingers suddenly gripped Will at the hips.

"Nothing you said would ever shock me," Magnus said. He pushed Will away and Will staggered backwards, pulling Magnus after him. Together, they fell onto the bed. Magnus shoved his hands up Will's shirt and pulled it off as Will pulled Magnus's pants down. Magnus relieved Will of his trousers, then pushed him onto his back in the bed and fell against his chest. He bit Will on the neck and Will cried out, half in shock, half in something else entirely.

Magnus continued down Will's body, nipping him in some places, licking in others. Will felt himself getting turned on. His body seemed to throb with want and need, and when Magnus's skin wasn't against his in the seconds they were apart, Will missed it, the same way he missed Jem bonded so tightly to him.

"I want you," Magnus said. His hands were all over Will's body, touching the places where the skin would bruise from his bites.

"Then take me," Will said. He flipped Magnus onto his back and grabbed his hips, pulling his body close. It was the same as it always was with Jem, and yet it was different, because it was Magnus, and when Will pushed inside of him the first time, he didn't have to worry about him breaking. Will saw pain in Magnus's eyes but it wasn't frightening, the way it was to see Jem in agony. None of this was the same, and yet Will knew it was, because he had sex with Jem to forget everything else, to feel pleasure and nothing else. The only thing that had changed was the man beneath him. Will still wanted to forget.

And so Will thrust into Magnus and sunk his nails into the warlock's hips, pulling him against him again and again until he finally felt an orgasm rip through his body, and then, there was nothing left to feel.

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><p>The sun was just starting to come over the horizon when Will opened his eyes. He felt Magnus curled against his back, breathing lightly. There was a soft blanket tossed over their naked bodies, and their skin was warm where it touched. Will sensed someone standing close by and opened his eyes to see a blonde haired man leaned over the bed. The man was dressed in clothing at barely matched and wore a monocle over one eye.<p>

"Woolsey," Magnus said. "I didn't expect you…"

"Obviously," Woolsey replied. He clasped his hands and grinned at the sight of the two boys naked in his house. "Who wants breakfast?"

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><p>Some time later,after Magnus had washed Will's seat from his skin, he had come downstairs to find Will in the kitchen sipping tea as Woolsey fried bacon. When they sat down to eat, Magnus found himself placed across the table from Will, with Woolsey at the head of the table. The meal was spent making awkward conversation.<p>

"This is delicious," Magnus finally said.

"I'm glad to know you enjoy it," Woolsey said. "So, what demon did you summon last night?" Will looked up quickly from his plate. All though breakfast, Will avoided Magnus's eyes, and they barely spoke, only asking to pass the syrup and butter. Magnus figured it was due course for them, having spent the night together having… had sex. Magnus's cheeks turned red and he looked back at his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. When he looked back up, Will was gripping his fork tightly as he stared past Magnus, a tense look on his pale face. As Magus watched, he dropped his fork and ran his fingers over the rune at his wrist, flinching as if it hurt him.

"I need to get back to the Institute right now," Will said.

"I can draw a Portal-" Magnus said.

"You've done enough," Will replied. He stood up. "I'll see myself out." And then he was gone.

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><p>When Magnus and Woolsey were finished eating, they sat at the table and Magnus listened to Woolsey talked about his night spent with his pack. It was a position that suited him, working for people he cared for. There was always something going on in Woolsey's world, which was why Magnus didn't mind spending time with him. Sometimes, immortality was monotonous, and if anything, Woolsey's mortality was a breath of fresh air.<p>

When the talking was finished, Magnus washed the dishes while Woolsey went to freshen up. He was lost in his thoughts about the broken boy he had spent the night with, and when Woolsey walked up and placed his hands on his shoulders, Magnus shivered with a shock.

"You could do worse, you know," Woolsey said. He pushed some hair away from Magnus's neck and kissed beneath the ear, in the same place that Will had kissed him.

"Worse then you? Perhaps. I could move in with a faerie. We could spend our days drunk on spiked lemonade," Magnus said. He turned around and leaned against the countertop, inviting Woolsey to step closer. Perhaps if he could pretend that Woolsey hadn't walked into the room and hadn't found him naked in bed with Will Herondale, perhaps, things could continue between he and Woolsey as they had in the times when Will wasn't around. True, Magnus had many lovers, but there was a reason why he always came back to Woolsey.

"I mean, with the Shadowhunter. You could do worse," Woolsey said. His green eyes were playful, but his mouth was set tightly, as if he might frown or smile at any moment. "He's very good looking, and I know you've had your eye on him for some time. Way to go in bedding him." Woolsey stepped back, putting some distance between he and Magnus.

"I didn't bed him. I didn't… it was nothing. He wanted to replay his favor and-"

"I thought he already did," Woolsey said.

"Woolsey, I…" Magnus began. "I didn't know…I thought…"

"You're right, I don't care," Woolsey said. Magnus wasn't sure what hurt worse: that Woolsey didn't care that he had been with Will, or that he did care, but thought so little of their relationship that he wouldn't tell the truth.

"Woolsey, I love you, you should know that," Magnus said.

Woolsey frowned. "It's far too soon for that."

* * *

><p>The Institute was silent when Will pulled open the door and walked inside. He hurried up the steps to the second floor and turned left, already feeling in his bones where he was meant to be. His suspicions were confirmed when he looked up to see Tessa hurrying towards him. Her hair hung loosely, billowing behind her. She was tying a dressing gown around her waist and talking with Sophie, who hurried along beside her. Will met Tessa just outside the doors to the infirmary and grabbed her hands in his.<p>

"What happened?" Will asked.

"How did you…" Tessa said, "Never mind." She would have known that Will could feel Jem's pain, and could feel when his parabatai was close to death. "It must have happened during the night, when he was asleep. He had one of his episodes…"

"You didn't hear him?" Will asked. He could hear Jem roll over at night. One of his awful, agonizing withdrawal attacks could wake up the whole Institute, nevermind Will, who slept next door. "You weren't with him?"

"William," Tessa snapped. "I never heard a thing, and neither did Gideon, who was on the other side of Jem's room. It wasn't until Charlotte checked on him early this morning that she found him. He was unconscious and bleeding, and it appeared he had been bleeding for a while, because…" Tessa went pale and Sophie covered her mouth. "He's lost a lot of blood. He was barely breathing when Henry and Gideon carried him down here." Will gaped at Tessa, unsure of who to be angry with, she a, or himself. He opened his mouth, prepared to say something awful and cutting, when the Infirmary door opened and Gideon looked out.

"Will," he said. "We need… Will." Will didn't look into Gideon's eyes and didn't look at the blood that stained the older boy's clothes. He merely walked into the Infirmary to find Henry and Charlotte and Jem's bed side. Jem's shirt was off and he lay on his side, blood clots dripping from his mouth and nose as he gasped and remained mercifully unconscious. The white sheets beneath him were already stained crimson.

"You should summon one of the Brothers," Henry said quietly.

"They might not get here for a few hours," Charlotte said. Henry looked up at her, frowning, not needing to say that the Brothers might need to come anyway, to collect Jem's body in the event of his death.

"No, I'm here," Will said. He grabbed a stele from a bedside table and drew an amissio to help Jem's blood clot faster, knowing that the runes he could draw were far more powerful than any Henry could draw. The rune worked. Jem's bleeding slowed, as did his breathing. Will rested a hand on his shoulder, then looked up at Charlotte. "Make certain you clean him up before he awakes. He always gets upset when he sees blood."

"Will," Henry said, but Will had turned on his heal and walked back across the Infirmary. He pushed open the doors and walked out to find Jem's fiancée cowering beside the doors.

"You," Will said. "You plan on marrying him, and yet you can't keep him alive for a single night. You let him think he was getting better because of you. He didn't take any of his drug, because of you. He almost bled to death in his bed, because of you. This is your fault."

Tessa's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't hear him. He was fine at dinner," Tessa said. "Even before we went to bed, he was fine."

"So what caused him to go from perfectly fine to drowning in his own blood?" Will asked. "Did you and he do something that taxed him a bit too much? Maybe he asked to take your virtue and you thought, why not?"

"I resent you thinking-"

"When I left, he was perfectly fine. No, you know what, Tess? Before you ever got here, he was perfectly fine. Now you've gone and nearly killed him!" Will exclaimed. "Bad things happened before you got here, but they've multiplied tenfold since you showed up."

"Will," Tessa said. She was crying now. "This isn't my fault." Will stepped close to her, forcing her back against the wall.

"Oh yes it is!" Will yelled. "If you hadn't-"

"Will!" A girl exclaimed. She grabbed Will by the arm and hauled him around. Will came face to face with a girl who looked just like him. Tessa hurried down the hallway, Sophie in her wake.

"Angel, Cecily!" Will cried. "You're like a ghost."

"That is enough out of you," Cecily snapped. "If Mother heard you berating a woman like that…" Will groaned and sunk his fingers into his hair. "That is just not acceptable."

"By the Angel!" Will cried. "Why did you have to show up now?" He felt flabbergasted at the sight of his dear, sweet, baby sister, halfway grown up, standing before him.

"Angel," Cecily said. "The Angel Raziel, right? Why do you say "By the Angel?"

"Because it's improper to curse in front of a lady," Will said. Cecily smiled and folded her arms across her chest.

"Is he going to be alright? Your parabatai, I mean?" Cecily asked. Dear, sweet Cecily, was so naive. She didn't know about Jem, she didn't know anything, which was how it should have been. And yet she was here, his only bit of family left.

"He lost some blood but he'll pull through. He just needs to rest," Will said.

"Well, then, there is no need to yell at Tessa. She's done nothing wrong," Cecily said. "Right?"

"She's done nothing wrong," Will said. "It's just…" He thought about everything he and Tessa and Jem had been through in the past few weeks. It seemed so much to take in and think over.

"What is it?" Cecily asked. Will sighed and put an arm around Cecily's shoulder. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, and then pulled her down the hall, away from the Infirmary.

"Oh, little sister, you have much to learn about this world," Will replied.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review! <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews! Please enjoy this chapter!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Early the next morning, Magnus woke up to find himself sweating profusely. Woolsey was curled against his back, as always burning a few degrees warmer than a normal person. Magnus knew he was comparing Woolsey to Will, who's temperature complimented Magnus's rather than fought it against it the way Woolsey's did.

Last night had gone as the morning had: Woolsey never brought up Will, or what Magnus had done with Will, and Magnus had played stupid, never bringing it up even as the subject remained the purple elephant dancing in the corner of the room. Maybe it was guilt, Magnus was feeling, for having sex with another man while he was living with Woolsey… but Woolsey had practically encouraged it... but was that a test just to see what Magnus would do? Had he failed? Or had he mistaken Woolsey's feelings all along? Did Woolsey want to… settle down? That couldn't be.

"You're awake," A voice mumbled.

"I'm just going to get up to start the tea. I'll make breakfast," Magnus said. He wracked his mind for ideas on what to do today, just to get out of the house and away from Woolsey, who was making Magnus ask questions he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

"Please don't leave," Woolsey said. He wrapped a hand around Magnus's waist and pulled him closer, so their bodies were pressed together, Woolsey's fire hot body against Magnus's. "You're always leaving. Just stay."

"I suppose a few minutes wouldn't hurt," Magnus said.

"You have nowhere to be," Woolsey said. He kissed Magnus's shoulder blades, and then moved his hand down to his lower back. Woolsey slipped his hand into the elastic at the top of Magnus's shorts, and then pushed them down and off.

"Do you want me?" Magnus asked.

"Of course I want you," Woolsey said. "You're right here for the taking. Is the feeling mutual?"

"Um… yes, of course," Magnus said.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," Woolsey remarked. He sat up in bed, straddled Magnus's waist, and began to knead at the muscles across his upper shoulders. Woolsey was naked already, and slept naked, once telling Magnus that bedclothes were stifling to him. "I'm glad you are here." Woolsey leaned over and kissed Magnus on the back of the neck, brushing some of his hair aside.

Magnus shivered. "And why is that?" He asked.

"It's nice to have someone to wake up with, is all," Woolsey said. "Don't you agree?"

"Of course, it's very nice," Magnus said.

"It was always nice before. Why wouldn't it be just as nice now?" Woolsey asked. He ran his hands down Magnus's sides, and then pressed himself against Magnus's backside, not pushing into him, not yet, anyway. There was no doubt in what Woolsey expected out of his houseguest this morning.

They had woken up together this way for the past four days, ever since Magnus showed up on Woolsey's doorstep. They had made love within five minutes of Magnus walking in the door. It was true: Magnus had ended up dressed in just a shirt, unbuttoned down the front, and nothing else. Woolsey had asked how he was this year as they fucked on the steps leading upstairs. The next morning, they woke up and made love in the bathtub before having breakfast together in bed.

It was easy to fall back into the routine they had executed twice before. Woolsey was like an old coat that was nearly worn through in spots: one knew they should throw the coat away, but it was so comfortable, so warm, so unlike any other coat ever worn before, one couldn't bear to do away with it, and so every year, the coat went on again, even though there were better coats to be had.

Now, Woolsey bit Magnus on the shoulder, and then flipped him onto his back, so that Magnus lay beneath him. He put his hands on Magnus's hips, pulling him against his lower body, the same way Will had, right before he had thrust into Magnus for the first time. Woolsey took Magnus's cock and began to stroke it, attempting to arouse him in a way that should have been easy, given the time of day. Woolsey wanted Magnus, his desire was for him evident, and yet, for as much as Magnus wanted to summon desire of an equal amount, he couldn't bring himself to, not this morning. He yawned and put a hand over his mouth.

"Am I boring you?" Woolsey asked. He put a hand on Magnus's jaw and forced his head to the side so that he could kiss down the side of Magnus's neck. Magnus rested his hands on Woolsey's ribs, wanting to push him away, but not. "Am I?"

"Of course not," Magnus said.

"Okay, well then…" Woolsey mumbled. He pushed Magnus's knees up and apart and fit himself into the space between Magnus's thighs. He was pressing against him, not thrusting, not yet, but soon enough. Woolsey's left arm lay on Magnus's chest, pushing him down into the mattress as his right hand remained on Magnus's jaw. Magnus tried to turn his head, but Woolsey held him tight and kissed his neck, sucking hard enough to bring blood painfully to the surface. Magnus moaned and closed his eyes.

It wasn't always like this. It didn't always hurt this bad. It was just how Woolsey made love. He didn't know the meaning of the word "gently." It was hard, or not at all, and even without saying it, it was always a battle for Woolsey that he was determined to win. It wasn't just that Magnus was beneath him, Woolsey wanted Magnus to submit to him, to open himself up and let Woolsey take everything. It had never been like that with Will. For as much as Will forced himself onto Magnus, Magnus met him half way, wanting him just as bad, holding onto him just as tightly.

"You're thinking about him," Woolsey said.

"Who?" Magnus asked, thinking a second to late how stupid he was to ask a question like that.

Woolsey cursed and climbed out of bed. He stomped out the door, and Magnus heard him a moment later slam the bathroom door shut. He took that second to climb out of bed, find his shorts, pull them on, and then follow with a pair of pajama bottoms. He found a shirt, one of Woolsey's, and pulled it over his head. The bathroom door reopened and Woolsey walked back down to the room, walking in just as Magnus snapped his fingers and watched as the bed made itself. Woolsey grabbed Magnus by the shoulders and dug his fingers in, causing Magnus to flinch.

"What are you doing?" Woolsey asked.

"I made the bed. I thought we could go out for breakfast. It's a nice day," Magnus said.

"I wanted you," Woolsey said. "Then, now, I wanted you. I want you. Why did you make the bed?" Magnus shrugged.

"I can unmake it," Magnus said. He smiled, uneasily, and pressed his middle thumb together, pointing at the bed. "I just thought… I mean, you got out of bed…"

"So you just figured I didn't want you anymore?" Woolsey asked. "Just like you figured I wouldn't care if you fucked another guy beneath my roof? You just figured you would cheat and I wouldn't care?"

"I didn't cheat!" Magnus exclaimed. "God, Woolsey! Cheating on you means that things between you and I would be defined, that you would be someone who would be hurt by my cheating, and you would never define things between us. You never have, and you never will, because it violates the whole "pleasure for the sake of pleasure" bullshit you're always spewing."

"Oh, Magnus, you are one to talk," Woolsey said. "Whenever I was with you, sure, it was pleasure for the sake of pleasure, but it was only with you. I never strayed."

"You never strayed?" Magnus asked. "You never strayed? Where you in a blackout the entire time we were in Paris? There was a different boy in our bed every night."

"Yes, because you were in our bed as well," Woolsey said.

"Because I allowed it, to keep you happy. I never complained," Magnus said. "I let you have your fun, knowing that was just the person you were, and still are. Do you honestly expect me to believe you were meeting with your pack all night?"

"Do you expect me to believe that you and the Shadowhunter was a onetime thing? That you won't do it again?" Woolsey asked. There it was, what Woolsey didn't want to admit: there was a danger with Will, that Magnus would gave to his demands again.

"Do you not want it to happen again? Do you want me to promise I'll be your one and only? Will you promise to be faithful to me?" Magnus asked. Woolsey clenched his jaw and looked away, rubbing his forehead. "If you want more for us, you have to tell me that you want more. Otherwise, what the hell are we doing back together?" Woolsey shrugged. "Do you want me to stay? Or should I leave?" Woolsey covered his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't know what I want," he said.

* * *

><p>When Tessa walked into the Infirmary holding a book to her chest, Will was just wiping the last bit of dried blood off of Jem's lips with a moist cloth. The bleeding had stopped yesterday after Will had applied his rune to Jem, and now Jem was sleeping. He had opened his eyes a few times and made feeble sounding moans, if only to tell Will he was still there, still alive. Will knew there were times when Jem was so weak, he had to sleep, and so he was sleeping, even after the faintest bit of color returned to his cheeks. It took time for him to recover.<p>

Tessa walked around to the other side of Jem's bed. They had spent the night together in the Infirmary, the three of them. Will wouldn't leave Jem's side, and even when he did sleep, he was always an arm length away from Jem. Tessa was there as well, although she slept the entire night. She would have woken up to keep vigil if Will asked her to, which was exactly why Will hadn't woke her up. It was petty, he knew it, but he couldn't help but want to measure his love for Jem by the hours of sleep he lost at his bedside.

"You should get something to eat," Tessa said. "Bridget made banana pancakes. There's a plate for you in the kitchen."

"I'll eat later," Will said.

"You being at his side isn't helping him," Tessa said. "You look exhausted."

"And why do you care?" Will asked, his voice cracking. He gripped the bloodstained cloth tightly in his hand. "Why do you care about me at all? It was better before, when you made it clear that you didn't care. Now that you know the truth… but it doesn't matter, because you have him now. My feelings no longer matter to you, so why should you care about them?"

"I care, Will," Tessa said. "I'll always care. Always." Will nodded. Tessa reached over and touched his hand.

"Don't," Will said, jerking away. "Please don't." Tessa's mouth fell open at his rejection of such a simple gesture, but Will couldn't handle the idea of her touching him, not after the way they touched before, on the balcony. To give any more of himself, more than he had already given, might kill him.

"Will," Tessa said. "Will, I still…"

"You shouldn't touch his blood. It could be toxic to you," Will said quickly. He turned and hurried over to trash can, where he threw away the cloth. He washed his hands in the sink, scrubbing hard, just trying to delay the moments until he would have to walk back over to the bed and see the man he loved lying half dead, with the girl he loved watching over him. When Will turned around, drying him hands on a towel, Tessa was there.

"I never wanted it this way," Tessa said, her voice just above a whisper. "I wanted to love you, Will, but I can't."

"I wouldn't want you to," Will said. He glanced at Jem's bed, at the broken boy lying there, then back at Tessa. He stepped forward, touched Tessa's cheek, and kissed her hard on the lips. Tessa's hand came up and rested on his chest. She kissed him back, and then pushed him away.

"William," Tessa said, her voice quiet and angry. "You must never…"

"I want love you," Will said, his voice painful even to his own ears. "And I want to love Jem, but all I feel is blinding hatred. And that's the worst part of this, Tessa. I can't decide which of you to hate more." Tessa gasped and her eyes filled with tears. Will pulled away from her, heading for the doors, wanting to get away.

"Will!" Tessa cried.

"Tell me when he's awake," Will said.

"It doesn't have to be this way," Tessa said. Will turned around, his hand on the door.

"Can't you see, Tess? It can't be any other way. One of us has to lose, and I already have," Will said. He shoved open the Infirmary door and walked out.

* * *

><p>Magnus spent the afternoon and early evening redecorating Woolsey's sitting room. Woolsey said he wanted it done, and since it was far easier for Magnus to do it then Woolsey, Magnus locked himself in and got to work. He changed the walls from an egg shell color to lavender, and then changed the furniture to something light colored. He arranged the furniture, then rearranged it, then decided the room needed a bigger window. When he was finished, he sat down on the couch and stared at the wall, searching for a calm place in his mind.<p>

The door creaked open and Woolsey looked in. He let out a low whistle of appreciation.

"I like it," Woolsey said.

"The purple doesn't have to stay. I was in a purple mood," Magnus said.

"As opposed to blue?" Woolsey asked. He walked into the room and tossed a black suit over the back of the couch, then sat down beside Magnus. He rested a hand on Magnus's thigh.

"What's that?" Magnus asked.

"A tuxedo. I was going to dinner and the symphony tonight, remember? You were going to accompany me?" Woolsey asked. Magnus remembered. The evening wasn't something Woolsey planed for the two of them; there was going to be plenty of Woolsey's friends there. Magnus was surprised Woolsey would want to have him come along. They ran in different packs, so to speak.

"You want me there?" Magnus asked.

"Of course I do. I never didn't want you there," Woolsey said. This was a truce, Magnus knew it. If he never thought of Will Herondale again, Woolsey would never bring up his transgressions, and their relationship could continue as it always did, like the same old comfortable coat pulled on once again. "I love you to."

"It's too early for that," Magnus said. Woolsey pecked him on the cheek and jumped up. "I'll be ready in an hour."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Review as you wish! if you enjoy this story, please sign up for a story alert. I am kicking around the idea of raising the rating to M, not because I want to, but because if this gets to smutty, I will have to. I don't want to run the risk getting in trouble or offending anyone, so I have to err on the side of caution. I would love your feedback on this matter, so please feel free to give it! I would love to hear from everyone reading, so, please? Review? <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Hello! Thank you for reading! The bad news is, this update is early. The good news is, I haven't ruled out posting another chapter in less than a week. So review, provoke me to update, and, as always, enjoy! Please remember, I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

That night, Magnus and Woolsey went out to dinner with the poets and artists Woolsey surrounded himself with. When they arrived at the restaurant, most of Woolsey's friends were already there. They had a number of things in common with Woolsey, the most obvious being a love of art and an even greater love for the more pleasurable parts of life.

Woolsey's friends appeared to be a rowdy, fun loving bunch, that was, until Woolsey appeared at the head of the table with Magnus at his side. Then there was silence as the men looked over Magnus, who was wearing the tuxedo Woolsey gave him, along with a green, paisley print silk scarf that had appeared on the nightstand while Magnus was freshening up for the evening. It was a gift from Woolsey, and more over, it was something that might help Magnus to feel more relaxed during his evening spent with Woolsey's friends.

"Gentleman, I wish to introduce you to Magnus Bane, my lover," Woolsey said. He put an arm around Magnus's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

Most of the group sat in silence and traded looks and small smiles. They no doubt knew Woolsey's method of operation: he had desires and urges that one man alone couldn't satisfy.

"Good for you," One of the men said. He smiled eagerly and gave Woolsey a nod.

The rest of the group looked Magnus over, each judging him in their own silent way. Magnus doubted that Woolsey ever introduced one of his lovers to them. That was because Woolsey didn't have lovers, he had one night stands that stayed over for a few nights before moving along. Magnus saw it in the tuxedo and the scarf, the "I love you" from out of nowhere, even this, now, with Woolsey sharing his friends with Magnus. Woolsey was marking Magnus as his own, bit by bit, having never said the words "you belong to me, Magnus, and I to you, and no one else can come between us." Had he said anything like that, the tuxedo and the scarf and even this evening wouldn't have been necessary.

"Yes, good for me, indeed," Woolsey said.

After a round of introductions, they sat down to dinner and ordered wine. Woolsey spent dinner having conversation with everyone while Magnus sipped his wine and ate his Cornish hen, always feeling like he was on the outside of the conversation, looking in. Magnus was well versed on art and literature, and had valid opinions on all conversational points, but whenever he voiced his opinion, Woolsey's friends gave him a look that questioned why he was even speaking at all. Then they all began speaking again, taking his thoughts and opinions and twisting them to suit their own conversational needs. It was as if they viewed Magnus's being with Woolsey as temporary, and Magnus had no idea whether or not they were right. It felt the same as it had when Magnus was with Camille, only, Camille was always clinging to him, smothering him with her needs. Woolsey put a hand on Magnus's knee beneath the table and ignored him.

And so the food and drink flowed freely and Magnus topped his glass of wine off numerous times. By the time they were walking out of the restaurant, he was staggering into Woolsey's shoulder, his head spinning.

"Easy," Woolsey mumbled. He put an arm around Magnus's waist and kissed him on the lips. "After the symphony Webster has invited us to his house to smoke and talk. I told him you would be interested."

"I didn't want to be out all night," Magnus remarked. "I don't like smoking. I thought we could just…" He tripped and Woolsey grabbed the lapel of his coat to keep him upright. He couldn't remember that last time he'd been this drunk. Somewhere behind them, one of Woolsey's friends laughed, and there was no doubt in Magnus's mind who they were laughing at. "I want to go home."

"Well, I want to smoke, and if you don't want to, you don't have to," Woolsey said, making it clear what he planned to do. They would be home some time the next morning, after Woolsey shook himself out of his opium haze and climbed out of whatever bed they ended up in. "I promise, we won't be out all night, but please, Magnus, let's just have fun tonight. It's such a nice night. I can almost see the stars, and we're together. Don't you want to be with me?"

Woolsey pulled Magnus against him and kissed his lips hands he ran his callused hands down Magnus's face. Magnus felt his resolve cracking even as his head spun.

"Of course I want to be with you," Magnus said. "I just don't want to be out all night. Of course we can go to… your friend's house." He kissed Woolsey again, feeling Woolsey's fist against his chest, trying keep him from falling down. Woolsey sighed exasperatedly.

"Then put your head back together. You're embarrassing me," Woolsey mumbled. He linked his arm with Magnus's and pulled him down the street. Magnus wanted to stop walking and tell Woolsey the reason he was drunk was because his friends were all pompous pricks who wouldn't know good art if it hit them between the eyes, but that might get him thrown out of the house, and he wasn't in the mood to find alternate lodging in the state that he was in, so he let himself be drug down the street.

The symphony hall was just filling up as the friends arrived. Magnus took a seat in an opera box, and as the symphony began, Woolsey put a hand on Magnus's thigh, nearly holding him down in his seat. The drunkenness Magnus was feeling had abated, but was replaced by a sickening feeling in his stomach. He was dizzy and his head began to throb as the music roared into a crescendo and quieted down, a never ending wave of screeching strings. His cheeks felt hot, and no matter how much he loosened his scarf, he still felt bathed in sweat.

"What is your problem?" Woolsey mumbled halfway through the performance. Magnus had taken to shivering occasionally, fidgeting beside Woolsey.

"I think I might be sick," Magnus said. "Something I ate, or…"

"Just go away," Woolsey said, leaning close. "You're like a child, you know that? I can't take you anywhere. You've humiliated me all night." Magnus felt tears gather in his eyes. Was he actually going to cry? That would just top off the night. "I said, go away. I don't want you here."

Magnus climbed to his feet and left the opera box. He turned around once to see Woolsey laugh about something with Webster, and then his vision blurred unexpectedly and he was hurrying down a hallway, one hand over his mouth, trying to hold back sobs. It wasn't enough that he wasn't feeling well and had spent the night on the outside of conversation, barely respected by Woolsey's friends. Now, he was going to have a drunken, messy, emotional breakdown.

Magnus punched open a bathroom door and staggered inside. He went to the sink and splashed cold water on his face until his tears subsided. Once he had collected himself, he walked out of the bathroom, already planning to go home and let Woolsey have his fun, which he clearly wasn't having with Magnus there.

"Magnus," A voice said. Magnus was grabbed by the lapels and shoved into another room. The door slammed shut, and Magnus felt warmth on his face from someone standing close by. He lifted his hands, prepared to defend himself. "Magnus, it's me." Two cold lips pressed against Magnus's mouth. They were familiar, the same lips he had kissed before. Magnus moaned and rubbed his cheek against the boy's face. He put his hands on the boy's waist, feeling only a thin shirt beneath his hands. The boy was freezing cold, damp and shivering.

"Will," Magnus said. He kissed Will again, tasting blood on his lips. "What are you doing here?"

"I followed you," Will said.

"What?" Magnus asked. He stumbled and might have fallen, had Will not pressed him against a wall. Their lips met again. Will's hands moved to Magnus's tuxedo jacket. He unbuttoned each button slowly. Beneath the jacket was a vest, but Will ignored that and instead pulled Magnus's tucked in shirt out. Somewhere close by, the symphony was still playing, although the sound was muted.

"I followed you, from Woolsey's house to the restaurant to here. I waited for you," Will said. He rested his hands on Magnus's jaw, cupping his face so gently, so tenderly, so unlike Woolsey. Magnus parted his lips and kissed Will again, bringing their tongues together gently before pulling apart. "I thought you could help me." Will was stroking Magnus's chest, his body pressing against Magnus's, hot and cold all at once.

"Help?" Magnus asked. Will's lips were against his, licking his lower lip carefully, inviting Magnus to kiss harder, deeper.

"As it turns out, a good way to get the shit kicked out of you is by skipping out on your bar tab," Will said. He lifted a witch light stone between them. Magnus saw Will's face in brief flashes of light. His lower lip was split open and dark with blood. His nostrils were stained red with it, while his cheek was scraped, accenting the bruise that covered half of his face. His right eye was bloody and swollen shut.

"What happened?" Magnus demanded. He took his scarf and dabbed at the blood, trying to make sense of the injuries. He lifted his hand and whispered a spell, which caused the blood and cuts to fade away. Will looked into Magnus's eyes, the witch light the only bit of light they had.

"I followed you," Will said. He pushed the scarf away, then pressed his hips against Magnus's as they resumed kissing. Magnus thought about pushing Will away, only he couldn't, because Will's body was against his and they were kissing hard enough to make Magnus dizzy all over again.

Will tossed Magnus's jacket onto the floor, then followed it with his hastily unbuttoned vest. Magnus reached down and jerked Will's shirt over his head, exposing the pale skin of Will's chest. Will licked his lower lip and deftly unbuttoned Magnus's pants, pushing them down just enough to take Magnus's half hard cock in his hand. He stroked it, smiling wickedly, and then knelt on the floor, looking up at Magnus, his hair in disarray, his face still bruised, his mouth open, his lips soft and moist.

They ended up together on the floor, Will straddling Magnus as they faced each other. The room was pitch black, the witch light tossed somewhere, unneeded. Will's breath was hot against Magnus's lips and his fingers were tight in his hair. They were kissing hard, but not hard in the way that Magnus and Woolsey kissed. Magnus could lose himself in a kiss by closing his eyes and just trying to keep up with Woolsey. Will was the exact opposite. Magnus could feel Will in every kiss, and knew that he was there, giving everything he could. His fingers dug into Magnus's shoulders, gasping for breath. Will moved hard against Magnus, groaning in pain and pleasure all wrapped together. Will's nails sunk into Magnus's back, and the music roared to a crescendo once more as Will came with a cry. Magnus pushed Will down onto him, forcing another cry from the boy before he finished.

It was Will who pulled away first, not Magnus, who had someone sitting in an opera box waiting for him to return. Will climbed to his feet, found his clothes, and tossed Magnus his. They dressed in the light of Will's stone, not talking. There was nothing left to say.

"Would you like to spend the night together? We could get a room at an inn," Magnus said. Will looked up from tying his boots.

"I need to get back to the Institute. Maybe another night. You know where I live." Will smiled. "I'm always up for a good fuck in a coat closet."

"It could be more than just a fuck," Magnus said.

"I'll let you know," Will said with a shrug. He pulled on his coat, then walked over and kissed Magnus on the cheek. "I'll see you…"

"Wait," Magnus said, seizing Will by the arm. "Why did you follow me? Why did you do what… we did?"

"Sometimes I need someone that belongs exclusively to me, who would never reject me," Will said. He traced one knuckle down the side of Magnus's face and kissed him lightly on the lips. "That is you, Magnus. You would never reject me." Then, he was gone.

Magnus finished putting his appearance to rights and walked out of the closet just as Woolsey walked down the hallway, his hands clenched, his head turning side to side as he scanned doorways and rooms. He looked up when he was ten feet from Magnus and stopped in his tracks. He looked at Magnus for a second, his breath catching. He appeared distraught, and more than that, heartbroken.

"I am so sorry," Woolsey said. "I should have been better to you. I should have made my friends respect you." He walked closer, stopping an arm's length away. "Where is your scarf?" Magnus lifted his hand to his throat to find the scarf gone. "You had it before… he was here, wasn't he? The Shadowhunter?"

"He was hurt and needed help," Magnus said. "He got in a fight, and…" Woolsey took a breath and ran his hands through his hair.

"You do realize he's using you, right? He's showing up, making you think he needs you…that there is a chance, for you and…how can you be so stupid?" Woolsey asked.

"I'm not…" There was a part of Magnus that was hurt by being called stupid. "There's no chance…" Woolsey stepped closer and inhaled. His eyes seemed to go dark, become less human and more part of a creature that was to be feared.

"I can smell him all over you!" Woolsey exclaimed. He grabbed Magnus by the wrist with one hand, twisting his wrist so hard, fresh tears sprang into Magnus's eyes. Woolsey lifted his other hand and slapped Magnus hard across the face. Magnus gasped and tried to get away, but Woolsey pinned him against a wall and made a fist.

"Strike me again and it will be the last thing you do!" Magnus cried. "I'll end you, Woolsey, and you know that." Woolsey released Magnus, shoving him away. Magnus brought a hand to his stinging cheek and felt a sob rip through his chest. He turned to find Woolsey standing in the middle of the hallway. His eyes, now back to normal, stared at his hands with a horrified expression on his face.

"Magnus, I'm so sorry," Woolsey said. "I'm supposed to be better than this…"

"Go out and do whatever you want. Smoke your opium. Fuck your boys," Magnus said. "I'll be home. Or maybe I won't be. I don't know where I'll be, but I sure as hell won't be with you."

"I'm sorry," Woolsey said. Magnus shook his head, turned his back on Woolsey, and walked away.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Review? Please? Thank you for reading! Please sign up for a story alert, as I am pretty sure this rating will go up to M for the next chapter. Here is a teaser to Chapter 6:<strong>

Then there was a noise beside the bed and Will pulled away to find Tessa clutching at her nightgown, her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. "I'm sorry," Will said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: To everyone who came over from the T rated section, thank you! I am sorry I had to raise this rating, but I couldn't run the risk of getting in trouble. As it stands, this chapter is M rated for a reason. Please enjoy. As for the reviewer with the excellent question... everything is up to your interpretation.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

"Will?" Jem's voice awoke Will from the numb stupor he found himself in. He wasn't drunk, no, that was long before now. He just found that staring at the far end of the bathtub was more comfortable, then, say, bathing himself, getting out, and going to bed. It was after midnight. Will had come home from seeing Magnus at the symphony and had gone straight upstairs to his room, where he poured a bath that nearly scalded him. His body hurt from being with Magnus, and yet, it was the best sort of hurt, because the fiery ache in his stomach distracted him from the pain in his heart. Sex with Magnus was a distraction, and a good one at that. "Will, are you alright?" The bedroom door closed.

"I'm in the bath," Will said. Jem walked into the bathroom and leaned against the doorway, dressed in trousers and a white shirt unbuttoned enough to show the runes at the base of his neck. Will had no idea why he was out of the infirmary, but saw it in his eyes that he had taken his drug and must be recovering.

"Where were you all day?" Jem asked, "I woke up and you weren't in the Infirmary."

"I had errands to run," Will replied. Jem walked over and sat on the side of the bathtub.

"I see you enjoy a black eye as a fashion accessory," Jem said.

"It's better than a monocle," Will said. He knew his eye was still black and blue, despite Magnus's healing. Jem reached over and ran his fingers over the bruise, then dipped his hand into the water, letting his fingertips just break the surface. He licked his lips and looked across the room. "Why are you here?"

"Will you please spend the night with me?" Jem asked. "I don't… I'm afraid to go to sleep because I'm afraid I won't wake up." His eyes filled with tears, something Will hadn't seen from him in a while. It was only Will that Jem would allow himself to cry in front of. "I know things are different between us now, but I still need you, Will. I still need you… with me."

Will knew they had crossed some sort of threshold in Yorkshire. He couldn't imagine being with Jem intimately, the way they used to be, before Tessa came to the Institute. The thought of doing anything with him was painful to consider, as if just feeling Jem in his arms might open a wound that would never heal. Yet all Jem was doing was asking Will to spend the night, to be there to watch him through the night, and Will, in his darkest, most heartbroken place, could not bear to begrudge Jem this one thing.

"I'll be right there," Will said. Jem smiled and left the room.

Will got out of the bathtub, dried off, and dressed quickly in his pajamas. He left his room, opened the door to Jem's, and walked in to find Tessa sitting on the edge of Jem's bed, putting on some hand cream. She looked up at Will, shock upon her face, as Jem came out of his bathroom, buttoning his night shirt.

"She's staying to," Jem said.

"Then you are going to be just fine," Will said. He turned for the door, but Jem was there, pushing his hand away from the doorknob, putting a hand on Will's back. He forced Will to face him, and placed a hand on Will's cheek as Tessa looked on.

"It's not proper that I spend the night with her," Jem whispered. "And I want you, Will. With me. It's only Tessa. What changed?" Tessa averted her eyes, no doubt uncomfortable with everything.

"I can go," Tessa said.

"Stay," Jem said. "Please, I want to spend the night with you both." He looked between Will and Tessa, and Tessa looked at Will, resignation on her face. Tessa, as it seemed, couldn't say no to Jem either.

"I'll be damned if I have to sleep next to her," Will said.

"You won't have to," Jem said. He led Will back over to the bed, and then climbed in first. Will gave Tessa a rueful glare, and then climbed in after him. Tessa extinguished a candle and climbed in last, leaving Jem between she and Will. Jem's right hand moved beneath the covers and rested on Will's stomach.

"Good night," Tessa said.

"I love you," Jem said, and Will wasn't sure who he was saying it to.

After a few minutes, Tessa rolled onto her side. Jem, half asleep, rolled over and nestled his body against hers. His hand gripped Will's side, pulling him, so Will rolled over and put his arm around Jem.

Sleep came quickly.

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><p>When the nightmare arrived, Will felt Jem's body tense against his. He sat up quickly just as Jem began to scream and thrash, shoving Tessa out of the bed.<p>

"Jem, it's going to be alright," Tessa said, as calmly as she could manage. She crawled back across the bed towards Jem, who cried out and clawed at her face, narrowly missing her. "What's the matter with him?"

"It's just a nightmare," Will said, regretting his choice of words. This wasn't just a nightmare, they never were just nightmares. These awful dreams were like battles Jem fought in his sleep. Even now, Jem struck out at the creatures he was seeing, the hells he never told Will about. He shrieked, hysterical. "Keep back, Tess. You're just another threat to him." Will straddled Jem's waist, grabbed Jem by the arms, and forced them onto either side of the bed. Jem screamed in agony, crying aloud, before he stopped suddenly. His eyes flew open and he struggled to catch his breath.

"Am I dead?" Jem asked.

"You had a bad dream," Will said. He released Jem's hands, then ran his fingers down the boys sweat soaked chest. "That's all." Jem looked up at Will, his mouth open, his expression caught between fear and confusion. He reached up, grabbed Will by the collar of the shirt, pulled his face down to his, and pressed his lips hard against Will's.

Will gasped. Jem's tongue moved between Will's teeth and then they were kissing hard, their bodies arched together, as they tumbled back into the same place they always went to, where what they had together wasn't wrong, but rather the purest most perfect form of love. Then there was a noise beside the bed and Will pulled away to find Tessa clutching at her nightgown, her face horrified.

"I'm sorry," Will said. He started for the edge of the bed but Jem pulled him back. Jem reached out, grabbed Tessa, and pulled her back into the bed as well.

"Don't be," Jem said. "Even if it is forbidden… even if it is unforgiveable, I would have still told Tessa about you and I." He looked Tessa in the eye and spoke quietly. "I love him, and there is nothing either of you can do about it, and if you love me, you'll understand."

"I do," Tessa whispered. She leaned down and kissed Jem on the lips. When she straightened, she looked at Will.

"Go on, do what you want," Jem whispered. "Seems we can't resist each other." Tessa ran a hand through Will's air and kissed his lips. Will kissed back, just enjoying the feeling of her lips against his, as Jem moved his hand beneath Will's night shirt, touching his lower stomach, teasing his fingers over the muscles there. Will broke off his kiss with Tessa and put a hand on top of Jem's, keeping him from going too far. Despite the evening he had, Will was already getting hard at the sight of Jem lying on the bed, drenched in sweat, his eyes a hard silver.

Jem reached up and began to unbutton his night shirt. He tossed his shirt away, then unbuttoned Will's shirt and tossed it aside as well. He moved his fingers back over Will's chest, then turned to Tessa, took her in his arms, and kissed her passionately. It was clear Jem and Tessa knew one another's bodies and had done this before.

"Will," Tessa said. She held out her hand and Will took it, kissing her gently upon the back of it before he lay beside Jem and kissed him on the cheek. Tessa followed Will's lead, laying on the other side of Jem and kissing him in the same way.

"It is forbidden," Jem said, nodding to Will, "And it is immoral," he nodded to Tessa, "but is it so wrong to desire you both?"

Will met Tessa's eyes even as his lips traveled down Jem's neck. He felt hot skin against his tongue and smelled the sweet tang of Jem's sweat. Tessa's eyes were half closed as Jem tangled his hand in her hair and moaned. He lifted his other hand and pushed aside the strap of her nightgown, revealing first the top of her breast, then, the rest of it. Will's breath caught in his throat, aroused at the pure audacity of Jem to take such liberties with Tessa.

"James," Tessa mumbled.

"I'll stop if you want me to," Jem said, his tone pleading even as his thumb moved over Tessa's tiny pink nipple. He cupped her breast in his hand, holding it so gently. "I promise, I'll stop, just say the word." He flicked his tongue over Tessa's nipple, causing her to shudder. The other strap of her nightgown fell, and there she was, fully exposed for the both of them to see.

"James," Will said, struggling to keep the smile out of his voice. He teased his fingers against the side of Jem's neck and Jem turned his head obediently. Will placed his hand on Jem's cheek as they kissed, until he felt Tessa take his hand and press it to her breast. Jem smiled against Will's lips and Will couldn't decide whether or not Jem had planned this all along.

Will knew that someone needed to stop this. This was a way to have hearts broken and relationships to become forever altered, and yet, no one ever stopped it.

"Tessa, may I please touch you?" Jem whispered. Tessa was back to kissing Will hard enough to make herself breathless as Jem's hands roved up and down her silky nightgown, from her hips up to her breasts and down again. "Just tell me to stop."

"Don't," Tessa said, biting Will's lower lip, "stop." Jem's hand disappeared beneath Tessa's nightgown. She moaned and spread her legs for him. "Teach me how to pleasure him, Will."

"I beg your pardon?" Will asked. He looked down at Jem, who was already reaching up to kiss Tessa.

"Teach me," Tessa said. Will placed his right hand on Jem's chest, ran it down Jem's stomach, to the waist band of his pants, then dipped beneath the fabric, clutching Jem's erection in his hand. Jem groaned and shook his head, then nodded.

"Make up your mind," Will said, but Jem was beyond any coherent thought. He nodded quickly, licking his lips.

Tessa resumed kissing Will even as Jem had his hand up her nightgown, touching her in a way that was causing her to moan with increasing frenzy. Will had his hand down Jem's pants, not taking his time but rather pushing Jem hard and fast, never letting up. It shouldn't have worked, but it did. There was so much skin on skin, different sensations battling one another, sometimes Will lost track of who he was kissing.

This was wrong; it needed to be stopped. This was a way for someone to get hurt.

"Oh, Angel, Will," Jem said, his eyes wide open, and then closed. "I'm going to…" Jem cried out as loud as he had before, his entire body shaking, his back arching, his body releasing every bit of tension it held in one short burst of sound and energy.

Then, there was silence. Tessa went back to staring at them both with her horrified eyes, as if she hadn't spent the past half hour being felt up by one boy or another, kissing them both with reckless abandon.

"Any questions?" Will asked. Tessa just looked down at Jem, who was gasping with his eyes closed. Will climbed out of the bed and went into the bathroom. When he returned, Jem was curled against Tessa, whispering words to her in Chinese. Will tossed Jem his shirt and collected his own.

"Don't leave," Jem said. "And don't put that on."

Will climbed back into bed beside Jem. Tessa lay down as well, and they each sighed, lost in their own thoughts. Jem rolled away from Tessa and faced Will, taking his face in his hands as he kissed him gently, each meeting of their lips broken up by Jem whispering to Will in a language Tessa couldn't understand, "I love you. I'll love you always." Will kissed back, hoping to the Angel he wouldn't have to respond, and wouldn't have to ever say how much it hurt him to see Jem in love with someone else.

"I'll always love you," Jem said once more, and fell asleep with his head on Will's shoulder. Tessa was sitting up in bed, watching the whole exchange. Will met Tessa's eyes as he rested his cheek against Jem's, whispering in his ear,

"I love you to, and I always will."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry for the sudden, sporadic update. I will explain more at the end of this chapter (which is shorter than usual). As for now, thank you for the reviews, please enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

After leaving Woolsey at the symphony, Magnus ended up across town, standing on someone else's front steps, knocking on the door of someone else's house, the same way he had when he walked out on Camille. This time it was Ragnor Fell who opened the door and invited Magnus in, taking in his watery eyes and drunk and disheveled state. As High Warlock of London, Ragnor was required to shelter warlocks who needed a place to stay, but Magnus would have gone to him anyway. Magnus hadn't sought Ragnor out for sex or love or even a shoulder to cry on. He went to Ragnor specifically because he knew he wouldn't get sex or love, but simple companionship. Magnus needed a friend, and Ragnor was his most faithful.

Ragnor brewed a potion for sobriety while Magnus warmed himself by the fireplace. He was staring into the flames when Ragnor carried in a mug, which he handed to Magnus, along with a lavender scented handkerchief. They sat together on a sofa and Magnus sipped his potion as he clutched the handkerchief like a security blanket. After a few minutes, Ragnor ran his fingers over Magnus's knuckles, forcing the joints to relax.

"You can tell me, or, you don't have to," Ragnor said. Magnus looked down at the green skin touching his own, offering a bit of comfort and expecting nothing in return. His eyes blurred with tears and then he was sobbing again, holding the handkerchief to his mouth to muffle his gasps. Ragnor rubbed Magnus's upper back slowly and whispered quiet, soothing words to him, until Magnus stopped crying again. "It's just those damn mortals, isn't it? Willing to throw love away because they don't know how rare it is. They won't promise you forever because they don't know how long forever can be. They'll break your heart every time, Magnus. Every single time."

Magnus couldn't bear to tell Ragnor that he was crying not because he was heartbroken, but because it had been so very long since he had been properly loved by anyone.

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><p>It was midmorning the next day before Magnus left Ragnor's house and walked back to Cheyne Walk, dressed in borrowed clothes and carrying the tuxedo Woolsey had given to him. He let himself in the front door and walked through the house, pausing to find Woolsey sitting at the kitchen table, a cloud of clove scented smoke around his head coming from the cigarette burning between his fingers. He looked as if he had barely slept, with black circles under his eyes and two day's worth of stubble across his jaw.<p>

"Magnus," Woolsey said, his voice strained, "you came back." He started to stand up, but Magnus walked down the hallway, down to the sitting room he had redecorated during the last time he and Woolsey had a fight. No, actually, the last time they had a fight, Magnus had been with Will in a coat closet and when Woolsey found out, he'd pinned Magnus against a wall, slapped him, then made a fist, planning to hurt him even worse. The time before that was when Magnus had been thinking about Will while he was in bed with Woolsey, and Woolsey, being a territorial alpha male, had figured it out.

Magnus slammed the door shut, hung the tuxedo on a closet door, and sat down on the sofa. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself for coming back here. He could have gone anywhere else in the world, and yet, he was here.

There was the sound of footsteps in the hallway, followed by the quiet thud of Woolsey resting his head and hands against the door.

"Magnus, please, let me in. I want to talk," Woolsey said.

"It's your house," Magnus said.

"I'm not coming in unless you want me to come in," Woolsey said. Magnus frowned as he took in his surroundings. He could do anything he wanted to do with the room, but he couldn't imagine staying there for any length of time, which a very immature part of him wanted to do. He wanted to barricade himself in the room and leave Woolsey sitting outside, contemplating their relationship, for days, weeks even. Anything Magnus wanted or needed was at his beck and call. There was no telling how long Magnus could leave a door between he and Woolsey. Forever was entirely possible.

Magnus doubted he would last more than an hour. Even now, just knowing Woolsey was standing right outside the door, waiting for Magnus to invite him in, was causing every bit of stubborn anger and resentment that had built inside of Magnus to melt away, slowly and surely. If Woolsey was outside the room now, he must not have meant to slap Magnus and nearly punch him. He must want to forgive Magnus, and what kind of man would Magnus be if he didn't accept that forgiveness? They had both done wrong, but that didn't mean they couldn't move past their wrong doings.

"Come in," Magnus said. The door opened and Woolsey walked in. He sat beside Magnus on the sofa and reached over, slowly, carefully, to caress his cheek. When Magnus allowed that, Woolsey cupped Magnus's jaw in his hand and kissed his face gently.

"I'm so sorry," Woolsey whispered. He kissed Magnus again as his other hand moved around Magnus's waist, pulling him close. "I was wrong, with everything. The whole night was wrong. I was hurtful to you, and I let my friends disrespect you, and you had no choice but to go looking for someone who treated you far better than I did. I'm not angry with you, Magnus. I forgive you for being with him."

"You forgive me now," Magnus said, his voice hollow. "You didn't seem to want to forgive me last night. In fact, it would seem that you wanted to hurt me."

"You hurt me," Woolsey said. "The thought of you being with him… why, it turns my stomach, and more than that, it angers me. You were willing to throw away everything you and I had on a simple fuck with a simple boy. Everything, Magnus."

"There is nothing between you and I," Magnus said, his voice holding quiet rage. "You lost the rights to everything we could have had the moment you raised your hand and cracked it across my face. I'll allow myself to be used and treated like dirt, but you hurt me, Woolsey. You hit me in the face once and you wanted to do it twice and that, Woolsey, that is unforgiveable."

Magnus pulled away from Woolsey then, stood up, and crossed the room. He heard the strangled cry fall from Woolsey's lips the same time the werewolf went down on his knees in front of the sofa. He wailed in anguish and nearly pulled his hair out and it was several long seconds before Woolsey looked up at Magnus, tears pouring out of his dark eyes. His chest heaved, as if every breath hurt.

"Do you like your boys broken, is that it, Magnus? Do you like them so broken, it is only you who can make them right again? If so, then I am broken, Magnus," Woolsey said, his voice on the edge of hysteria, "I am broken. I am nothing without you. Nothing. Is this what you want? To break me? If so, you have succeeded. I am broken."

"Get off the floor," Magnus snapped. Woolsey just covered his eyes and sobbed. "Woolsey."

"I love you so much," Woolsey said. "I wanted us to go to Rome. I wanted to give you the world. I wanted to be with you, until I got old and gray and you held my hand as I prepared to welcome death. I would give up… everything… for you and I would give you forever. Just forgive me for what I did last night. I know I did wrong. Do you think I haven't been over it a hundred times, hating myself for letting my emotions get out of check for just a moment? Do you think I wanted to hurt you? No. But I love you so much, and I was angry, and I snapped, but I love you so much, Magnus. Do you love that boy, Will? If so, then love him. Be with him, and be with me as well. Just never leave me, Magnus. I love you, and I need you. I'm nothing without you."

Magnus head spun as he tried to catch up with Woolsey's mad ramblings. Woolsey was willing to give up Magnus's fidelity, just as long as Magnus never left him. It was a pitiful idea, and yet Magnus hated himself for considering it.

"I love you," Woolsey crawled on his hands and knees over to Magnus. "I love you so much. I want to be with you…" Woolsey's hand went to his pocket, where he fumbled with something. Magnus stepped back, his eyes wide, as Woolsey held up a gold ring with a large, cloudy white center stone. "Please, Magnus, forgive me, and just be with me, forever."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Every once in a while, in writing, I will come across a story line that makes me question everything I ever believed. It is always a disagreement between what I would do, given the situation, and what the fictional character should do, and this is one of those times. So, because I never had a chance to do this before, I have cut this chapter short and have posted it WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. I know there will be more chapters to this story. I have an ending in mind, but I just don't know what Magnus's answer to Woolsey is going to be. I apologize for the cliffhanger. Feel free to reviewgive your opinion. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"How could I love him?" Magnus thought in one second, and in the next, "how could I not?" Woolsey was down on his knees, holding a ring, and saying a word. Forever. How could Magnus not love a man who wanted to give him everything?

"I love you so much," Woolsey said. "You don't seem to believe me, so here, I'll show you. I'll give you a ring. I'll tell you forever. Until I'm old and gray, or until I'm taken from you to soon. I'll promise you my forever."

Magnus shook his head slowly, never taking his eyes off the ring. He knew if he looked away from the white stone for just a second, it would be to look into Woolsey's eyes, and he couldn't do that, because if he looked into Woolsey's tear filled eyes, he would see him as broken, the way Woolsey wanted to be seen. If Magnus saw Woolsey that way, he would say "yes" with his next breath.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been since you came back to me," Woolsey said. "It's the pack, Magnus. With de Quincey gone and my brother's death avenged, there are members of the pack who believe that my leadership is no longer necessary, and would, in fact, like to see me out of power."

"Out of power?" Magnus asked. He knew there were only two ways for a werewolf to give up the position of pack leader: by stepping down, or, by fighting anyone who challenged him, to the death.

"Yes. There are member of my pack who want to see someone else as leader. It's been going on for a few weeks now. Every meeting I go to…" Woolsey sobbed and shook his head. "They could kill me, Magnus. I've been scared. So very scared!" This brought on another messy batch of tears. "I'm sorry, Magnus! I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to be jealous of Will. I just really feel like the world is against me and I just really wanted someone in my corner. I have no one."

Magnus searched his heart for some ounce of pity he would allow himself to feel for Woolsey. There was none. Every time Magnus tried to feel sorry for him, he went back to the symphony and saw Woolsey's eyes, dark and angry, his hand raised in a fist. He felt the stinging pain in his cheek and felt the humiliation of a being a man slapped like a misbehaving child. Never before had Magnus allowed someone to raise their fist to him. Never again would he put himself in the position for it to happen again.

He wanted to believe Woolsey when the werewolf said he was concerned about problems in the pack, but he couldn't ignore his gut feeling that Woolsey was lying, or, only bringing this up to force Magnus to feel sorry for him. This was why a relationship with Woolsey never worked, because Woolsey would give Magnus every reason to leave but always gave a better reason for Magnus to stay. It was the same as it was with Camille, in that Magnus couldn't live without Woolsey, but living with him was a dizzying cycle of fighting and forgiveness. This wasn't the first time Woolsey had been on his knees for Magnus. However, the ring, the forever… this was new.

"You hurt me. There is no excuse for what you did. You hurt me," Magnus said. "Who is to say you won't do it again?"

"I will. I will never hurt you, ever again I never could. If anyone from Praetor Lupus knew that I slipped, that I hurt you, they would kill me." Woolsey climbed to his feet and touched Magnus gently on the cheek before he took him in his arms. Magnus closed his eyes and rested his head against Woolsey's shoulder. "I promise you, Magnus, I will never hurt you, ever again."

"So you'll leave the pack, then," Magnus said.

"I will leave the pack and you and I will leave here and we will go to Rome. Or France," Woolsey said. "I will go anywhere, as long as you are with me." There was a catch, there always was, with Woolsey. He would take Magnus anywhere, provided that Magnus left his life, and Will, behind in London. When they set up house, Woolsey would behave for a few days before he started bringing home boys and using his drugs. They would drift apart, Woolsey and Magnus. Woolsey would be happy, and Magnus would be alone, without the Shadowhunter he craved without a logical explanation.

Magnus felt drawn to Will like a moth to flame, the way an addict craves the drug that will eventually be their undoing. Will would never give Magnus what he wanted, forever. Woolsey would never give Magnus forever on terms they could both agree on.

"I love you so much," Woolsey whispered. "Please, Magnus, will you be with me, forever?" He gently rubbed Magnus's chest and kissed his lips, doing his best to convince Magnus that this time, he really did love him.

Magnus ached to believe that Woolsey's love was genuine. It had been far too long since he heard someone say "love" and mean it. Woolsey was only saying this because he knew that, and because it was better to lie about his feelings then to be alone. Magnus hated the pain he got in his stomach every time he thought about facing a future with no one at his side. It was desperation that made him lift his hand and place it over Woolsey's beating heart as he finally dared to look into Woolsey's eyes.

Later on, when they were naked and sweating in front of the fireplace, Woolsey thrust into Magnus from behind, back to forcing his submission. He bit Magnus on the shoulders and swore he loved him, that this was it, this time they would be together forever. They were going to Rome, or France, or somewhere. Together. Magnus looked down at the gold ring on his right ring finger and realized he had never told Woolsey yes or no.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, please feel free to give more. The next chapter will focus more on WillTessa/Jem, and reviews will provoke me to update faster. If you have read any of the other ID fics I have put together, you'll know what I mean when I say "alcove scene." If this is the first fic of mine you have ever checked out, you'll just have to wait and see what happens.**

**Also, it should go without saying, I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS. Now review. Please. Here. A teaser:**

"I thought you were happy," Will said. Jem turned to him, brushing some hair off his forehead, peering into Will's eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorite this story, and many thanks for all of the story alerts. Enjoy this chapter! Please remember, I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

The morning after Will showed Tessa how to pleasure Jem, he woke up to Jem twirling his fingers in the downy soft bit of hair on his lower stomach. It was arousing, and even more so to have Jem all to himself (they had always enjoyed the occasional good morning fuck) but it was different now, because now Jem was engaged to Tessa, a girl Will once loved… no, still loved.

After that realization, Will had jumped out of bed, shaking his head, silently telling Jem they were passed all that. What happened between Will, Jem, and Tessa could never be repeated, but Will was hard pressed to find a moment where his mind didn't wander to that middle of the night encounter. It was there, always, the memory of the two people he loved pleasuring one another while he had participated.

Now it was two days after that night. Will was back to spending the night with Jem, because Jem didn't want to be alone, and he didn't want to risk Tessa getting caught in his bedroom by either Sophie or Charlotte. The three of them spent meals together, but Will could barely look Tessa in the eye. It wasn't that he saw her almost naked and wanted to forget (he wanted to do anything but forget). It was just that he couldn't bear the thought of Jem and Tessa carrying on like that without him, and so they pretended together. Will pretended that Jem wasn't really marrying Tessa, Jem pretended that he really wasn't dying, and they all pretended that that one night hadn't really happened. Still, Will saw the truth in the way Jem looked at he and Tessa both: like they were the only thing that kept him going; the craving that could be satisfied whenever he wanted it to be.

"So we were thinking two weeks from now. July the third," Jem said. He was leaning heavily on his cane, his right arm laced with Will's left, their fingers entwined together, palm to palm. After lunch Jem had asked Will to take a walk with him, and Will obliged, since Jem said he had something he wanted to discuss. This was apparently it. "Tessa wanted some time to find a dress. Charlotte is going to help us put together a little something for the wedding. We are probably just going to have tea sandwiches and cookies after the ceremony. I doubt it will be any more than just Tessa and I, you, Sophie, and Gideon, and Charlotte and Henry."

"You mean, you are going to have the wedding two weeks from now?" Will asked. "Has the Clave given their approval?" Jem grimaced and held Will's hand tighter. "Are you in pain?"

"Yes, Will, there is a deep aching pain in my backside and it's name is not Will Herondale. This pain goes by the name "The Clave," Jem said. "No, they have not given their approval, but that doesn't matter. The last thing I am going to do is let the Clave stand in the way of my happiness." They reached the Library door. Will pulled it open and followed Jem across the room. Sometimes they came here to study, other times, just to be alone together.

"I thought you were happy," Will said. Jem turned to him, brushing some hair off his forehead, peering into Will's eyes.

"So did I," Jem said. "But now… I can have so much more, and so can you. You must promise me, Will, that you marry the first girl you fall in love with." Will tasted acid at the back of his throat. He was unsure if Jem expected a promise, which Will was unsure of his ability to give. "And if it is a man you fall in love with, please know, you have my blessing as well. I only want you to be happy and in love." Will nodded quickly.

"Why are you saying these things?" Will asked. Jem sighed and gripped Will's hand tighter.

"It was always like this, wasn't it?" Jem asked, a little breathlessly. "You've always held my hand and supported me when I needed it, and I've done the same for you. Always."

"I'm your parabatai," Will said, "how could I not?" Jem smiled and shrugged.

"I'm getting old, and so are you," Jem said. "I love you and I just want you taken care of. Think about the future, William. Think of the family you could have. Think of…" The Library door creaked open and Tessa walked in, sneaking glances behind her as the door closed. She turned to see Jem and Will standing there and emitted a tiny gasp, her eyes finding first Will, then Jem. "Tessa." Jem held out his hand.

"Has he agreed?" Tessa asked, coming closer. Jem took her hand and held it and Will's as well, so they were all connected in one way or another.

"I haven't asked him yet," Jem said, giving Tessa the smile he reserved only for her. "Will… since it seems only fitting… will you please be my best man? It would mean so much to Tessa and I." Will forced himself to look Tessa in the eyes, if only to beg her, silently, _"never tell him about you and I, about how I feel for you, because it will ruin everything." _Will imagined he, Jem, and Tessa were a house composed solely of cards, one stacked on top of another, and if one card gave way, one piece was moved in the slightest, they would all topple down and never be right again.

"I would be honored," Will said. Jem smiled and hugged Will around the neck, kissing his cheek.

"You have no idea how much that means to Tessa and I," Jem said, releasing Will. "Sophie is going to serve as Tessa's maid of honor. She's already agreed to it." As if Sophie would have had much choice in the matter. Will hated himself for feeling the slightest bit relieved that he wouldn't be the only person faking happiness at Jem and Tessa's wedding.

"So two weeks from now. That is going to be perfect," Will said, shocked at the bravado in his voice. Then again, he felt as though he had spent the last third of his life acting. He could keep up the charade for another two weeks, and then… he doubted he would be the first Shadowhunter to walk away from their parabatai. It would be for the best if he did that. He wouldn't have to see the last sad chapter of Jem's life, or the fleeting happiness he had with Tessa, or…

"The sooner the better, my beautiful bride," Jem whispered, kissing Tessa on the cheek. Will felt a knife twist in his chest as Tessa's eyes met his. "Come then, Tess. Will and I want to show you something."

Jem pulled them across the library to a spiral staircase. They walked up it single file, Tessa leading with Jem in the middle. Will knew where they were going, it was where they always went, only, they hadn't gone there since Tessa's arrival at the Institute.

"Jem, I…" Will said, watching as Jem hurried Tessa along the upper level of the Library, between bookshelves and a railing. Will was transported to a memory of he and Jem playing hide and seek, darting between bookshelves, misbehaving, being boys. They were all of thirteen the first time they stumbled, out of breath, into the alcove, which was where Jem pulled Tessa now. Will followed, shaking his head.

The alcove was a room which had been meant to be one of several; only, when the Institute was built, the builder made one study room, and then used the space meant for more alcoves instead for more bookshelves. The room was composed of three walls, two of which were covered with bookshelves, and a third, made of a floor to ceiling stained glass window of the Angel rising up from the Lake, the Mortal Instruments in his hands. Some days, the sunlight would stream into the windows and color the walls in a multitude of shades. Other days, the sun didn't shine on this side of the Institute, and yet the window still glowed.

"Will," Jem gasped. He released Tessa's hand and went over to Will, pulling him close, kissing him passionately. His tongue moved against Will's mouth and Will squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay, his hands resting on Jem's jaw, kissing back, giving him everything. In another world, this would be the place that Jem, healthy, alive, and cured of his affliction said his goodbyes to Will, and while this wasn't that world and Jem was saying anything but that, this still felt a lot like goodbye.

Jem broke the kiss and pulled Will across the room to where Tessa stood beside a table, the site of so many romantic trysts between Will and Jem. Jem removed his coat and tossed it down, then pushed his shirt sleeves up. He lifted Tessa onto the table and spread her knees so that he was able to stand between them. He kissed Tessa first on the lips, then on the neck, and then Tessa was lifting her hand, beckoning to Will, _come closer_.

Will dropped his coat onto the floor and kicked his shoes off. He climbed on top of the table and knelt behind Tessa as Jem lifted Tessa's right leg up. He unbuckled her shoe and pulled it off, then pulled her stocking down and off, slowly, tantalizingly slow, following it's decent with his lips gently kissing her skin. Tessa moaned and leaned back against Will, who was getting hard just watching Jem pleasure Tessa. Will kissed Tessa's neck, his fingers moving carefully against her shoulders, slipping under the straps of her dress, never dipping beneath her collar bones… not yet, anyway. Jem removed her other shoe and stocking, then straightened and kissed her lips, before kissing Will's as well.

_"It could be this way."_ The thought invaded Will's mind without any warning, pulling him away, momentarily, from the matter at hand. It could never be this way. Soon enough, Jem and Tessa would marry, and there would be a wedding night Will would not be invited to. It could never be this way. But it could. If Will didn't step aside and neither did Jem or Tessa, it could be this way.

"May I touch you?" Jem whispered. Tessa was leaning against Will, her breasts heaving, her breath coming in gasps. She nodded and ran her hand over the front of Jem's trousers, causing him to groan. "And may I do more than just touch you?"

"Yes, you may," Tessa said. Jem's hands disappeared beneath Tessa's skirts. Tessa gasped, her eyes wide, as Jem pulled her panties down and tossed them onto the floor. He sat down on the bench beside the table, hooked Tessa's knees over his shoulders, and pushed her skirts up around her waist. Will licked his lips, watching as Jem bent his head down between Tessa's thighs. Tessa might have fallen backwards as she shivered, had Will not been behind her. He took her in his arms as she crushed her lips to his, moaning, warm air hitting his mouth.

Will's hand found the buttons at the back of Tessa's dress. He released them, one by one, until her dress loosened. She wore no corset, but rather a simple chemise that Will pushed down, fully revealing her bosom. Tessa took Will's hand and pressed it to her breasts, and Will, unable to say no, touched her there as they continued to kiss.

Somewhere beneath Tessa's skirts, Jem was moaning the way he used to whenever it was he on his knees for Will. Will unloosened his trousers and slipped a hand inside, only Tessa shook her head and pushed her own hand into Will's trousers, gripping him tightly, showing him that she had learned something from their last encounter.

_It could be this way. _So what if Jem and Tessa were married. Tessa understood that Will and Jem were married too, if only in a different way. After all, Jem and Will had already had their wedding night, where they made love after swearing their parabatai vow. Jem and Tessa's wedding night was a formality; afterwards, _it could be this way. It could work, if they wanted it to. _

Jem was sounding breathless beneath Tessa's skirts. She was moaning and squeezing Will's cock in such a proficient manner, bringing him close, forcing him to sweat and pant against her neck and lips. They were making plenty of noise, Will knew it, but above it all, he heard the creak of a floorboard in the same instant Jem leapt to his feet and jerked Tessa's skirts down. Tessa pulled her hand out of Will's pants and pulled her dress up to cover her breasts as a shadow sipped between the bookshelves.

"Will?" Cecily asked. "Will, are you…" Cecily stepped into the alcove and brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a scream. It didn't help. "William Edmund Herondale Jr., what are you doing?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review? Please? Reviews provoke me to update faster!<strong>

"I was under the assumption that our business was done," Will said.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for the late update. Please enjoy this chapter! Remember, I own none of these characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

"You," Cecily said, to no one in particular. "You."

"You mustn't tell Charlotte," Jem said desperately. "If you care for Will you won't tell Charlotte."

The three of them were sitting on a bench, Will and Jem with their coats on their laps, Tessa between them, her panties mercifully kicked beneath a bookshelf. It was hard to say what Cecily had seen. _His sister_. Will wanted to cry aloud. It could have been anyone else but his infernal baby sister had walked in on him… Oh, it was mortifying.

"You, Mr. Carstairs, are unbelievable," Cecily said. "Fooling around with a lady… never mind your fiancée… but a lady, before your wedding day… And you, William, you are despicable to allow it and encourage it and participate in it… And you, Miss Gray, you are a whore." Cecily's eyes flashed an angry blue as she said the last word.

"I beg your pardon!" Tessa exclaimed. She leapt to her feet, stomping towards Cecily, who folded her arms across her chest and glared, not backing down, unafraid. "You have no business calling me a whore, you…. you…"

"Whore," Cecily said. "you are a whore." Tessa gasped, her hand on her chest.

"Oh, my, this day can't get any better," Will remarked. Jem, who been last seen up Tessa's skirts, kissing only the Angel knew where (but Will had a good idea, given Tessa's heavy breathing) just crossed his legs and squirmed. He was blushing furiously.

"William, you have a visitor. Charlotte sent me to find you. He's in the drawing room. A warlock," Cecily said.

"Magnus," Will said, standing up. He pulled on his coat.

"I wonder what he could possibly want," Jem said, also standing up. His coat slipped to the side, revealing his still evident arousal which Will doubted would subside any time soon. Tessa's face turned bright red. Cecily had picked that moment to glare at Will, and looked back only when Jem sat down quickly and cleared his throat. "Never mind. I'm sure Will can give us a full report."

"Do any of you have any sense at all?" Cecily demanded. "You do know where babies come from, yes?" Jem mumbled something. "I said, do you know where…"

Will slipped quickly from the alcove, praying to the Angel Cecily would keep this affair between the four of them.

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><p>Magnus was sitting beside the fireplace, gazing into the flames, when Will walked into the drawing room. Anyone else would take in Will's bright cheeks and messed up hair and excuse it, thinking it was only the careless nature of a teenage boy, but Magnus saw past that. Though Will was always slightly harried and disheveled looking, sometimes he contained it. This was not one of those times.<p>

"Mr. Bane? I was under the impression that our business was finished," Will said, pushing the door closed. Magnus heard the lock turn and recalled the night Will had first come to him, cold, wet, and desperate.

"It was finished, but then you came to Woolsey's house once and followed me to the symphony, and so…" Magnus said. "I didn't think you thought it was over." He climbed to his feet as Will approached him, all shadows and pale skin, the same way he always was, the same way Magnus would always remember him being. Light and dark. Bruises and blood and skin so thin, Magnus could see blue veins in the back of his hands.

"Have you a need for me?" Will mumbled. He stepped close to Magnus, dropping his hands down to take Magnus by the wrists. He smelled of sweat, the same husky scent that clung to his body all of the other times he was this close to Magnus, but this time, there was no scent of smoke and night time or even fight. His sweat was sweet smelling, mixed with lavender and vanilla and yin fen, the demon drug. Will smelled of himself, with light accents of Jem and Tessa.

"I will need you no longer," Magnus said, pulling his hands away from Will's grasp. "I only wanted to stop by and tell you that should you require the assistance of a warlock, I have instructed Ragnor Fell to aid you in any way necessary. He is a close friend of mine, and will take good care of you." Will nodded quickly. He fell into a chair beside the fire place, kicking his feet up. Magnus took the chair opposite him.

"The curse never existed. Marbas is gone. I won't be requiring of a warlock's help any longer," Will said. He looked at his hands and spun the ring he wore on his right ring finger. "But you knew that. You were there. And if there is anything else I might need, I'm sure you could still… help me." He peered up at Magnus, then returned his gaze to his hands, biting his lip and smirking like a mischievous boy would. This was the way Woolsey wanted Magnus to see Will, as nothing more than a mischievous boy.

_"He's manipulative, you know that,"_ Woolsey said, just that morning. They had been standing bare-chested in the kitchen waiting for the tea kettle to boil. The scratches down the front of Magnus's chest, a fraction of an inch to deep for his liking, had throbbed then and now. This was the day that Woolsey was going to gather his pack and resign his post as leader of the London werewolf pack. _"He'll do anything and say anything to keep you in his web. He'll play to your strengths by acting weak. Just like Camille always did."_ There was nothing weak about Camille, the same way there was nothing weak about Will. Every move the boy had ever made was calculated, shrewd….

"Magnus," Will said, his voice breaking as he tried to keep it just above a whisper. "Why are you asking me to see Ragnor? Why can't I keep my business with you?" Will was rubbing his hands together, twisting the joints, not looking Magnus in the eyes.

"I'm going to Rome with Woolsey," Magnus said. "I didn't want to leave without… making sure you were alright. I wanted to say goodbye." Will sat back in his chair, nodding slowly. He stared into the fire, his jaw set hard.

"A moonstone," Will said.

"What?" Magnus asked.

"Your ring. It's a moonstone," Will said. He pointed to the ring on Magnus's right hand. "The werewolf gave you a moonstone. That is laughable." He gave a forced, half hearted laugh. "Rubies are symbolic of happiness and diamonds are symbolic of purity but he gave you a moonstone because he's a werewolf." Will attempted another laugh, this one more convincing then the first.

"It's none of your business what he gave me and why," Magnus said. Will shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I guess if you'll accept his abuse, you'll accept anything he gives you," Will said.

"Excuse me?" Magnus asked. "What do you mean, abuse?" He tried to keep his voice strong. He failed at doing so. The moment he said abuse, Magnus saw Woolsey's hand connect with the side of his face. He saw his eyes blur with tears and he saw the fist, raised, aimed for his face. His breath caught in his throat.

"I didn't leave right away," Will said. "I was down the hall when I saw him… he hit you, Magnus. He raised a hand to you and he slapped you across the face. He treated you like an animal that has misbehaved. And you accepted a ring from him."

"I did misbehave," Magnus said. "I shouldn't have… I cheated on him. I was unfaithful. He had every right to be angry."

"He had no right," Will said, looking Magnus in the eyes. "Do you remember when you were sitting at dinner and he excused himself to go outside and smoke a cigarette with that dark haired character sitting to his left?" Webster. His name had been Webster. He was the one who invited Woolsey and Magnus over to smoke after the symphony. "It was halfway through the soup course. I know you remember. You let your wine glass go empty because he said he was going to buy the next bottle." Magnus searched his mind for a memory of Will's presence at the restaurant but found none. Of course, Will had been heavily glamoured, meaning that if Magnus wasn't looking for him, he would have never seen him.

"I remember," Magnus said. Will leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees.

"He didn't smoke a cigarette," He mumbled, and smiled. "Woolsey took that dark haired character against a brick wall. It was very carnal. Incredibly animalistic. I've never seen anything like it and I've been to the ifrit den before. There, men fuck anyone or anything, but this…" He shook his head. "You and I in the coat closet was nothing compared to Woolsey against the brick wall. You never made me bleed."

_"He will tell you anything you want to hear, just to keep you with him. He'll turn you against me because he knows he can," Magnus remembered Woolsey saying._

"I wouldn't have followed you if I thought you and he were committed to each other," Will continued. "And I wouldn't have been with you, that way, if I knew he was going to hurt you because of what we did. I didn't think he felt that way about you. He was with someone else. He was the one who was unfaithful." Magnus closed his eyes and shook his head.

"He was with someone and he slapped me because I was with you?" Magnus asked. He remembered the crazed look in Woolsey's eyes. Then, Magnus took it that Woolsey was irate with his infidelity, but now, it was clear that he was only shocked that Magnus had the audacity to be with Will. He never actually expected Magnus to go behind his back and be unfaithful. Magnus felt ill.

"I thought you knew," Will said. "I didn't think you would care, and I was shocked that he cared about us. Angel knows I'm not a threat to your relationship… right? You don't feel anything for me, do you?" Magnus was still back in the hallway at the symphony, playing the encounter over in his mind, over and over. Woolsey was angry. Magnus had been unfaithful. Woolsey was shocked. He never thought Magnus would be unfaithful.

"I don't believe you," Magnus said softly. "You're manipulating me. You're just jealous he gave me a ring, just like you can't stand knowing that Jem is marrying Tessa and leaving you alone. You'll come between Woolsey and I and you'll come between Jem and Tessa because you can't bear to be alone. You'll destroy relationships, good, happy relationships, because you don't want to be alone."

Will clenched his jaw hard enough to bring out the veins in his neck.

"I know exactly what you are doing. Do you not think I can smell Jem and Tessa all over you?" Magnus asked. "You dare to cause me to question my relationship when you were messing around with Jem and Tessa not ten minutes ago? How dare you?"

"I wasn't messing around…" Will said. He looked into Magnus's eyes as tears filled his own. "I love them both and they love me and…"

"He's going to marry her," Magnus said evenly. "He's going to marry her and you'll be left with no one but yourself. You can fuck with them both, all you want, but he's going to marry her. And you can say Woolsey was unfaithful. You can tell me he's the devil wrapped in a pretty package. I will never believe you. You are nothing more than a boy to me, Will, and I need more than you can give me. I need forever and that is something you will never give me."

Magnus stood up and started for the door.

"He'll hurt you again," Will said, quickly regaining his composure. "He'll say he won't, but one night, he'll snap like he did at the symphony and he'll hurt you again. He'll say it was your fault. He'll say you made him do it. He'll beg for your forgiveness and you'll forgive him and it will happen again and again and one day you'll wake up and you won't recognize yourself because you're not a person. You're a punching bag."

"It was one time!" Magnus exclaimed.

"You and I both know it will never be just one time," Will said. Magnus just shook his head again. He couldn't bear to be in this room with Will any longer. No, it was that he couldn't bear to have his relationship questioned any longer. Already, he was wondering how Woolsey had spent the night after Magnus had left him at the symphony. How many of the things he said to Magnus in the time before and after he offered the ring were the truth, and how many were things Woolsey wanted Magnus to believe?

"I'm leaving for Rome tomorrow morning," Magnus said. "Goodbye, William." He pulled open the door and walked out, never looking back.

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><p>When Magnus was gone, Will stared into the fireplace until he was sure he wouldn't cry. Then he stood up and walked out of the room, thinking of going back to his room, crawling into bed, and never waking up. He was halfway there when Tessa and Jem walked out of the dining room. They were holding hands, Jem leaning against Tessa, their heads bowed close together, talking quietly. They looked up when Will got to them, and each gave him a smile.<p>

"Pity about Cecily catching us," Will said sheepishly. Tessa smiled and nodded. Jem nodded as well, blushing. He bit his lip. "What?"

"Representatives from the Clave came to speak to Tessa and I. The Clave has come to a decision regarding Tessa's ascension and our marriage," Jem said. "They will not recognize the union between a Shadowhunter and a warlock. Under Clave law, we will are not allowed to be married." Will exhaled and tried to keep from smiling.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said.

"It's something we expected," Jem said, giving Tessa a sweet smile. "So much so, Tessa went yesterday and bought her wedding dress."

"But the Clave…" Will said.

"Fuck the Clave," Jem said easily. "Tessa and I are getting married. Tomorrow night."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please Review... I could use a little encouragement at the moment. <strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Sorry for the very late update. I am one of those people who can juggle three separate tasks, but if I add a fourth task, I am rendered unable to do anything but scroll online and eat copious amounts of food. So here is me promising regular updates, until the end…**

**Also****, much love to Emily, who has been reading for a very long time, and Alanna... I promise to find a better chapter to dedicate to you both... we'll see how the ending of this goes...**

**Please enjoy! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

When Magnus arrived back at Woolsey's house, he went to sit in the lavender room. Boxes littered the floor, all filled with the things Woolsey couldn't bear to get rid of. As for Magnus, his possessions fit into one small trunk. There was nothing more he wanted to bring, as there was so much he wanted to leave behind.

He couldn't deny that he was unsettled by his argument with Will. He had wanted to part on better terms with the boy, but at the same time couldn't help but feel that at least things were definitively finished between them. Neither owed the other anything. That chapter of Magnus's life was over with, the chapter where he felt things he shouldn't for a Shadowhunter and would have followed that Shadowhunter to the ends of the earth if only to have more time with him. At the same time, his chest hurt when he remembered turning his back on Will, all because Will had said the things Magnus was to afraid to say himself.

Magnus looked down at the ring on his right hand and thought about how long forever really was.

It was another hour before Magnus heard a key in the lock followed by footsteps inside the front door. Woolsey was home from his meeting with the pack. Magnus heard him walk down the hallway and go straight into the bathroom, where he ran a bath, which felt out of place in the middle of the day. Magnus hated himself for thinking that way, and hated himself even more for imagining Woolsey stripping off his clothes, climbing into the bathtub, and scrubbing his body with peppermint soap, taking away the scent of werewolf as well as any other smell that might cling to his skin that he didn't want Magnus to notice. He would have wanted Magnus to join him in the bath, where they could spend all day soaking in the hot water and making love in the claw foot bathtub, but that was something Magnus could not bear to do.

It was true. Ever since the night he first accepted Woolsey's ring, he found reasons to not be intimate with Woolsey. Even now, sitting on the couch, and preparing to move to Rome, Magnus thought of being intimate with Woolsey and felt his heart stop for seconds at a time… out of fear or just plain not wanting him that way, Magnus was not sure.

Was Will right? Had Woolsey been unfaithful on the same night he accused Magnus of infidelity? What had he done today? Had he really spent all of the morning and part of the afternoon resigning as pack leader, or had he been with someone else? And what if he accused Magnus of being intimate with Will, simply because Magnus had gone to see Will? What if he… Magnus squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. No. He would not think that way. What happened at the symphony was a one time, isolated incident, yet it was painful and embarrassing and it could happen again, at any time.

No. It would not. But it could happen.

In time, the bathtub drained and Magnus heard footsteps outside of the sitting room door, followed by a quiet knock.

"May I come in?" Woolsey asked.

"By all means," Magnus replied. The door opened and Woolsey walked in, still warm and damp from his bath. He wore a dressing gown loosely tied around his waist, and was towel drying his hair.

"I had hoped you would join me," Woolsey said, taking a seat beside Magnus on the sofa. "Then again, there will be time for that when we get to Rome. The Romans are famous for their baths." Magnus forced a smile.

"Yes, of course," He said.

Woolsey rested a palm on Magnus's right hand. He left arm went around Magnus's shoulders and a hand caressed his cheek. Woolsey kissed Magnus on the lips as Magnus moved a hand inside of Woolsey's dressing gown to touch his skin. He felt Woolsey's lips against his neck, his warm exhales against his jaw. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Let's go to the bedroom," Woolsey said.

Magnus shook his head. "I like it here," he said.

Woolsey smiled and pulled Magnus's coat off. He followed it with Magnus's shirt and undershirt, then unbuttoned Magnus's pants and pulled them down. Magnus lay back on the sofa and Woolsey moved between his legs, his hand sliding down into Magnus's underpants, touching him as he knelt over him. Magnus felt cool silk against his legs as Woolsey kissed him gently on the lips. He reached down and untied Woolsey's dressing gown, exposing his lean, muscular body. He ran his hands up and down Woolsey's sides, sinking his nails into his skin, wanting to feel something for this man, the one who promised him _forever_.

"Where have you been?" Magnus mumbled. Woolsey kissed Magnus's ear lobe and sucked on it carefully, then kissed Magnus's throat. His hand was still working between Magnus's legs, stroking him, trying to coax some sort of arousal out of him. Magnus took a breath and let it out, wanting the same thing.

"Meeting with the pack," Woolsey said. "And you?"

"Tying up loose ends with my business associates," Magnus said. Woolsey sighed against his neck, and then kissed across Magnus's chest. He pushed his underpants down, and took Magnus's half stiffened cock into his mouth.

Magnus arched his back, a shocked moan escaping his mouth. Woolsey slapped a hand down over Magnus's diaphragm, holding him down, as he took all of Magnus's cock, top to bottom, and began to tease his tongue up the underside of it. Magnus's heart thudded in his chest as his skin broke out into a cold sweat.

"No," Magnus said. "No, Woolsey, I don't want it." Woolsey opened his eyes and released Magnus's cock from his mouth.

"What do you mean, you don't want it?" Woolsey asked. "You don't want it like you didn't want it last night? I would prefer if you told me you were taking a vow of celibacy. As your lover, I have a right to know." He smiled easily at Magnus and ran his hands over Magnus's stomach. "There's not… something wrong, is there?" Magnus shook his head. "Well, then…" He ran his tongue up the underside of Magnus's cock, a smile still on his face. "I've got you, and you got me, and since this sofa isn't coming with us to Rome, we should do our best to break it." He lowered his head and took Magnus's cock back into his mouth.

Magnus wanted to close his eyes. He wanted to be pleasured by someone who clearly wanted to pleasure him. He wanted to break the sofa and go to bed and wake up the next morning and move to Rome. And yet…

"What do you mean, the sofa isn't coming with us?" Magnus asked. "I thought we agreed that we would take most of the new furniture. This is new."

"Yes, but it is ugly as sin and uncomfortable to boot," Woolsey said. "I've never liked this couch and I never liked this room. It's lavender, Magnus. Lavender." He laughed. "What kind of man do you take me for?"

Magnus felt stunned. He looked around the room, at the lavender walls and the white furniture and the window he made twice as big as it was originally, because after living with Camille, he had wanted a nice window to look out of.

"You said you liked this room," Magnus said, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. He hated himself for being so sensitive. It was just a room, after all, and he could change the color of the walls with a snap of his fingers.

"We were having a big fight that day," Woolsey said. "I would have told you anything you wanted to hear to make you happy." He smirked and licked Magnus's lower stomach, still running his fingers over Magnus's ribs. Magnus looked down at the ring on his right hand. The white moonstone looked cloudy and muddled against his skin.

"The day you gave me this," Magnus said, lifting his hand, "were you just telling me what I wanted to hear then as well?"

"Of course not. I said forever and I meant forever," Woolsey said. "I'll love you. Forever." Magnus nodded. He felt his eyes getting hot as tears gathered in the corners of them. "Magnus. It's just a sofa. We'll get another sofa in Rome. I've already come up with a color scheme for our house. I want browns and reds and sumptuous fabrics and..."

"It's not just a fucking sofa!" Magnus exclaimed. "You lied to me! You said you liked this room. You lied!"

"I told you what you wanted to hear," Woolsey said. He sat up quickly, as did Magnus, who grabbed the ring and tried to pull it off his finger, only, it was stuck. This last bit of frustration was more than he could take and he burst into tears, just like at the symphony, only worse, because this time, he was sober.

"You lied!" Magnus cried again. "You said you liked the room and the sofa and… when you said forever, did you mean that? Or did you just mean forever, or until someone better comes along? Does it mean you'll be faithful to me, but only to a certain point?"

"What are you talking about?" Woolsey asked.

"I know about Webster, behind the restaurant, the night of the symphony. I know, Woolsey. I know what you did," Magnus replied. Woolsey shook his head and sat back on the sofa. He pulled his dressing gown closed and covered his mouth with his head.

"So you went to see him," Woolsey said. "The Shadowhunter. And what did I say to you? That he would say anything to turn you against me. And he has. You'll believe anything he says, because you're in love with him. You are pathetic, did you know that? Pathetic." Magnus took a shuddering breath and looked Woolsey in the eye.

"Were you, or were you not with Webster that night?" Magnus asked.

"I'm not answering that," Woolsey said. "You will believe what you want and you will believe him because you love him and…"

"That threatens you. Will threatens you," Magnus said. "Now on the night in question, Woolsey, did you, or did you not have sex with Webster…"

"I did not!" Woolsey exclaimed.

"You're lying," Magnus said. "Will saw you. He would not lie." Woolsey stared straight ahead, his mouth set into a hard line of tension, and it was then that Magnus's heart started to break a little bit, because Woolsey didn't even love him enough to look him in the eyes and lie convincingly. "Did you, or didn't you?"

"I did," Woolsey said, "I did! Are you happy? I was unfaithful and so were you and now we can forget about it and…"

"I will never forget!" Magnus exclaimed. "You hurt me that night, Woolsey! You hurt me despite the fact that you cheated on me! I can't just forget! You hurt me because you were afraid of losing me to him! Pathetic, Woolsey. You called me pathetic, but you are the one who is pathetic." Woolsey's eyes went dark and for a second, Magnus was scared.

"I hate him!" Woolsey snarled. "I hate Will Herondale! He gets the very best parts of you, do you know that? The part of you that cares for the broken boy, the part that would do anything for someone… I could have loved you but he gets your love! Not me!"

"You never loved me!" Magnus cried. "How am I to love you if you never loved me? You never loved me. Not all the times you said you did, you never did. You don't want forever. You just want someone who will never leave."

"And what is so wrong with that?" Woolsey asked quietly. His eyes were filling with tears. He looked scared. "What is so wrong to want to be with someone forever?" He reached over and touched Magnus on the cheek, but Magnus flinched and pulled away. "Come with me to Rome. We'll fix this in Rome."

"We didn't fix it in Paris. We didn't fix it in London. We will not fix it in Rome," Magnus said. "We don't work, Woolsey, and we never will!"

A dead silence filled the room then, broken up only by Magnus's gasps and Woolsey's quiet breathes. Neither looked at the other. Magnus knew if he saw Woolsey's tears he would take everything he said back, but he couldn't. Not this time. He lifted his right hand and pulled the ring off, then dropped it into Woolsey's lap.

"I think you should go," Magnus said, fighting back sobs.

"I think I should," Woolsey said. He stood up and walked out of the room.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! Please enjoy this chapter! Remember, I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

The rest of the day at the Institute was spent on wedding preparations. The ceremony would be held in the sanctuary, and so Will was charged with the task of placing candles on every available surface of the room. When he was finished, he slipped out of the front door of the Institute and spent the day walking around town, returning just before dinner. No one said anything about the fact that he had been gone most of the day, although he saw Tessa looking over him from across the table, studying him, as they ate. She had to know how he felt, how he couldn't bear the thought her of marrying Jem. When their fingers touched as he passed a basket of rolls to her, he felt a shock go through his body so intensely, it took everything he had within him not to drop the rolls, stand up, and walk away… forever.

But he would see this through. He owed Tessa and Jem that.

When dinner was finished, Jem pulled Tessa down the hallway to the library and Will went upstairs to his room to find that someone had cared enough to collect his dress gear and ready it for the wedding tomorrow. Tomorrow. Yes. By this time tomorrow night, Jem would be married to Tessa.

The mere thought was enough to nearly unravel Will, and so he climbed into bed and pulled the covers up. After a little while he heard Jem walk into his bedroom across the hall and begin to play his violin, filling the hallway with the quiet notes of a love song. While Jem wasn't spending the night with Tessa and wouldn't see her until the wedding, Will knew, he was playing for her.

Despite the awful thoughts in his mind, Will drifted off to sleep quickly, waking up only when the door to his room creaked open.

"Will?" Jem asked. Will rolled onto his side to see Jem standing at the door, dressed in white pajamas, looking like a ghost. "William?"

"Yes?" Will asked. He sat up, letting the blankets fall away as Jem crossed the room. Jem set a glass of something on the bedside table, and climbed into the bed, holding another glass. He took a sip of whatever was in the glass, and then pressed it to Will's lips. Will took a drink as well, swallowing quickly, feeling heat in his throat. Brandy. Straight.

"I'm getting married tomorrow," Jem said lethargically. "You're my best man. It's customary for you to have a drink and spend the night with me before the wedding." Will retrieved the glass from his bedside table, drank it in one swig, then lay down on his back. Jem did the same with his glass and crawled beneath the covers, lying on his side with his hips against Will's left hip. He moved his hand under the covers and rested it on Will's waist, beneath his night shirt. Skin on skin, with nothing between them.

"Congratulations," Will said. Jem smiled and leaned down, pressing his lips against Will's, so soft, sweet, and gentle.

"You'll always be my first love," Jem whispered. "You'll always be my first of a lot of things." His eyes looked dark in the moonlight, so dark, Will could almost pretend they were blue, and if he could pretend that, he could pretend that Jem didn't reek of his drug, like he had taken far more than necessary just to keep himself alive long enough to marry the girl he loved. Will could pretend that Jem was going to live a very long time, and not die long before he should have otherwise.

"I don't want to do this," Will said. "You aren't leaving me. You're just getting married."

"I'm doing more than that. Give me some credit, William. I know I'm doing more than just marrying her," Jem said. He ran his and through Will's hair and kissed him once more, then lay down on his back beside him. Their hands found one another and joined together, palm to palm, wrist to wrist, rune to rune. Jem took a breath that sounded strained and let it out slowly. "Am I being selfish?"

"Selfish?" Will asked.

"She would be better off with someone… healthy. Someone who would give her thirty good years, over a few good months," Jem replied. "I'm going to die and she is going to live with the burden of having loved and lost. Am I being selfish in making myself happy?" Jem's palm felt hot in Will's. His whole body seemed to radiate warmth.

"You are so many things," Will said, "but selfish is not one of them. She loves you, so marry her."

"I love you," Jem whispered. "I'll always love you, Will. You must know that."

"I know," Will said, and Jem pressed his lips to Will's once more.

Will knew he should beg Jem to be good to Tessa but that was a mote point. Jem would be perfect to Tessa. He would be everything to Tessa that Will could not be. He would be her husband, and the man, who, no matter what, she would always see in only a favorable light.

"Thank you," Jem whispered. "Thank you, Will." Will didn't ask why Jem was thanking him. He already knew.

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><p>Will and Jem woke up together the next morning and dressed separately before going downstairs to breakfast. At some point, Jem mentioned that the girls were having breakfast together, and so it was only Henry and Gideon who joined Will and Jem for a quiet breakfast in the dining room. They made small talk as they ate, the topics ranging from the weather to Jessamine's betrayal, before Jem tossed down his napkin and cleared his throat.<p>

"Tessa has a trunk in her old room. I was hoping you would help move it into our room," Jem said carefully. "I don't think I'm strong enough to move it, and… I don't want her to be worried." He looked at Will first, then at Henry and Gideon. Our room. Of course, he and Tessa would be sharing a room and a bed after their wedding. They were going to be married in the eyes of everyone in the Institute, and would be treated as such.

"I'll move it," Gideon said.

"Thank you, Gideon," Jem said. The clock chimed ten and Jem looked up at the mantel. "We should go start to get ready, William." Will recalled that the wedding was going to start at noon because Tessa and Jem wanted to get married when both hands on the clock were pointing upwards.

Jem walked out of the dining room under his own power, then reached out and took Will's hand. They went upstairs together and separated, each going into their own rooms to bathe and dress. When that was finished, all that would be left was to wait.

Will laid in his bathtub for a long while, looking up at the ceiling, picturing far off places he would rather be, until he finally got out of the bath tub, dried off, and dressed in his gear. When that was finished, he crossed the hall and knocked on Jem's door.

"Come in," Jem called. Will opened the door and walked in to find Jem already dressed in his pants, but struggling to put each button on his shirt through their corresponding button hole while his hands shook. Will brushed Jem's fingers aside and took over for him while Jem took several shallow breathes.

"You're nervous," Will said.

"It's not every day that a man marries a pretty girl," Jem said. "I've got a right to be nervous, and-"

"She loves you," Will said. He reached the second to the last button from the top and threaded it through the button hole before smoothing the shirt across Jem's thin shoulders. Will stepped over to the bed and retrieved Jem's jacket, which he helped Jem into. Then Jem sat on the bed and Will laced his boots up for him.

"Of course she does," Jem said. "She loves me. And I am to ignore the passion and fire you had with her? I see how you look at her, William. Like she is the ending you have been looking for all along."

"She loves you," Will said.

"But not I alone," Jem said. He gave Will a frown that turned into a small smile. Will shrugged and finished tying Jem's boots, then stood up, as did Jem. The silver haired boy crossed the room and went to his jewelry box, where he retrieved a tiny velvet pouch he brought over to Will. "You're going to need these." He opened the pouch and dropped two gold rings into Will's hand.

"Wedding rings," Will said. He turned the rings over in his hand, studying them from all angles. They were so small, so insignificant. Shadowhunters drew runes on one another's bodies to symbolize their marriage. In the case that someone died or the marriage fell apart, the runes were disfigured, but they never went away, they always remained within the person's skin. By comparison, rings didn't seem nearly as permanent. A marriage was about a test of time; there was no way two gold bands could survive that.

"They're the best we can do," Jem said. He put the rings back into the bag, and tucked them into the upper breast pocket of Will's jacket. "Do you have anything to say to me?" He smiled at Will so earnestly; Will could only shake his head and push the thoughts that invaded his mind to the side. There were so many things he longed to tell Jem, and yet he did not. Down in the drawing room, the clock chimed a quarter to noon.

"We have a wedding to get to," Will said. Jem smiled, got his cane, and offered Will his arm.

"We most certainly do," he said.

The sanctuary was glowing with candles and witch light when Jem walked in with Will. Charlotte was already sitting while Gideon stood at the front of the room, looking over notes and talking quietly with Henry.

"Are we ready?" Charlotte asked. Jem looked at Will and smiled.

"We are," he said.

In the end, Charlotte and Henry sat in the front row of chairs and held hands as Will and Jem stood at the front of the room. Sophie walked in first, dressed in a light brown dress and carrying peach colored roses. Tessa walked in after her, dressed in a light gold gown made of lace. Jem took a shuddering breath and covered his mouth with his hand as his eyes filled with tears, prompting Will to step closer to him, touching his arm, but Jem only shook his head and held a hand out to Tessa. She looked at Will and gave him a nod before taking Jem's hand and stepping to her place beside him.

The wedding went by in a blur of words. Gideon read a love poem, and had Jem and Tessa repeat vows after him. They weren't the vows that were part of a normal Shadowhunter wedding, and yet they promised all of the same things- to love one another in sickness and in health, until death took either from this world. Before Will knew it he was handing Jem a ring and Jem was slipping it onto Tessa's ring finger. Tessa slid a ring onto Jem's finger as well and Jem looked down at it, smiling as it glowed in the candlelight.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Gideon said. "James, you may kiss your bride."

Jem smiled and touched Tessa gently on the cheek before he closed her eyes and kissed her on the lips. He whispered something to her in a different language, something she understood and so did Will, and that was when Will knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he had lost Tessa forever.

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><p>They regrouped in the ballroom, where a table had been set up with china and linens. They had lunch and spent the rest of the day eating sweets and drinking champagne. After dinner, Jem finally yawned and suggested that he and Tessa retire to their room for the night. Tessa merely blushed and accepted Jem's hand, and together they walked out of the ballroom. Just before they turned the corner Will saw Tessa look back at him and nod once more, telling him this was how it had to be, as if he didn't already know that she was Mrs. James Carstairs now.<p>

Charlotte gave Henry a serious nod, concern on her face for the first time all day, though it had always been there surrounding the whole event. Will knew why she was concerned, not that it needed to be mentioned. Sophie sighed and closed her eyes as Gideon poured her another glass of champagne. He poured Will another glass and Will drank it down before standing up.

"I'm going out for a little while," Will said, and before anyone could stop him he crossed the ballroom and ran out the door. He pounded up a hallway, all the day to the front door of the Institute and burst out into the crisp night air. He took several breathes, more gasps than anything, as he cast one last long look up at the place he considered his home for the last five years. Then he picked a direction, and started to run.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: So would you kill me if I ended it here? Just kidding. There is a little more. Please review! Thanks for reading! <strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Sorry that is has taken me so long to update. Life has gotten very busy but I swore I would give you an ending to this story and so I will. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, please enjoy this chapter! Please be warned, there is a death in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

"Come with me to Rome," Woolsey had said.

"No," Magnus had replied. He had been sitting on the couch in the purple room, staring into the fireplace, sitting in the same position he had held since dropping the ring into Woolsey's lap. Woolsey had moved all of his possessions out but didn't touch Magnus's trunk, and when the house was finally empty, he had asked Magnus to reconsider and come with him to Rome.

"Please," Woolsey had said.

"No," Magnus repeated, and it was the last thing he ever said to Woolsey. The werewolf left him with a key to the house and small box of Egyptian cigars, two things Magnus would never need. Magnus couldn't help but notice that his life was filling up with the things he didn't need, rather than the thing he most desired: unconditional love.

He was sitting on the sofa in the purple room, staring into the fire, when he heard the lock on the front door click. The door slid open and closed again, and then there was the sound of boots in the hallway, clicking on the hardwood floor. Magnus stood up slowly and turned, facing the door. He could only imagine who might come calling at this time of night, but was more fearful of what they could want.

The doorknob turned slowly and the door opened just far enough for a body to slip inside and close the door once more. Magnus took a deep breath as a boy looked up at him, gasping quietly as if out of breath.

"Will," Magnus whispered. Will nodded and crossed the room. He was dressed in solid black gear adorned with silver buckles and runes, fancier than any attire Magnus had ever seen him in before. His hair was damp, a darker, inkier black than before, and his skin was pale, his eyes the color of midnight ocean. He was beautiful, and so very broken.

Will nodded and put his arms around Magnus's shoulders, pulling him close. Magnus put his arms around Will as well as the boy laid his head on his shoulder.

"It is finished," Will whispered.

"You can't possibly mean that," Magnus said.

"He took her as his wife tonight. They exchanged rings and said vows. It is a symbolic marriage," Will said, "In sickness and in health, until death takes either from this world. They are married."

"I'm so sorry," Magnus offered. Will lifted his head and wiped some tears away. He grabbed Magnus by the arms and pressed his lips hard against Magnus's, kissing him passionately, tasting like salty tears and sweat. Magnus kissed back, his eyes closed, wanting to only feel in this moment, and see in the next.

Will stepped forward, forcing Magnus backwards until he hit the sofa with the back of his knees and fell backwards, grabbing Will by the belt at the last second, pulling him down with him. They crashed into one another on the sofa, their lips meeting as they fumbled with clothing. It was so fast, so uncontrolled the way it always was, because sex with Will was never about the act of sex or even passion, it was about feeling enough lust to forget about ever feeling pain.

"No," Magnus said, as Will bit him on the neck and gasped against him, one hand down on the button of his trousers, struggling to pull it open. "No, William. No!" He pushed Will away and Will fell backwards, a hurt look upon his face.

"Why not?" he asked. "We both want it."

"No. No, we don't," Magnus said. "We want to be in love with someone. We want to feel love for someone so desperately, we will try to feel it for anyone."

"You aren't anyone," Will said, touching Magnus's face. "You're someone to me. You know that." Magnus shook his head, knowing all too well Will was only saying what he knew Magnus would want to hear.

"Are you in love with me? Or am I just someone to be with on the nights you feel alone?" Magnus asked. Will flinched as if he had been slapped. It had to be difficult, to hear this, after all he had been through, and yet Magnus couldn't stop. "I could love you, Will, but you love someone else and you know it."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Will said. "She's married to him."

"Then maybe you weren't meant to be with her," Magnus said. Will shook his head. "You will find someone, Will. You might have even already found her. I know your heart is broken but you will find your place with someone… and that someone isn't me. Not this way. Not when you only want to be with me to forget everything else. I can be your friend, but nothing more."

"I feel all alone," Will said, his eyes filling with tears. "I feel like I have no one." Magnus put an arm around Will's shoulder.

"Everyone has someone," he said. "I know you want to give up, Will, but you have to keep going. You don't know it, but your best days are yet to come."

Will smiled through his tears. "As are yours," he whispered.

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><p>Will arrived back at the Institute early the next morning. He went immediately to the dining room and sat down to pour himself some tea as Gideon and Sophie set up the buffet for breakfast. Charlotte and Henry arrived first, each looking tired. They sat at the far end of the table and poured tea, each regarding Will quietly. He had left again, Will knew. After so many years of walking away Charlotte never objected to his leaving, mainly because she always knew, one way or another, that he would be back.<p>

"Quiet night," Henry remarked, sipping his tea. Charlotte glared at him, and then looked at Will, sympathy in her eyes. She never treated him like her own son, and he never treated him like an older sister. Such familial closeness was never allowed by Will, who would rather Charlotte regard him with disdain, as a burden she had to bear, instead of with any sort of love. Even so, when he hurt, she knew it, and when Will grinned and bore Jem and Tessa's wedding, it would have been Charlotte who knew the truth.

The dining room door opened and Tessa walked in, followed by Jem. They were holding hands and each ducked their heads low when they discovered everyone's eyes on them. Will's heart ached with the now familiar pain he got whenever he saw Jem and Tessa together.

It had been a warm August morning the first time Will woke up naked and in bed with Jem. He had been fourteen and Jem just barely fifteen. The night before hadn't been the first time they were ever intimate together, but this had been the first time they had gone so far together, there would be no coming back from it.

They had started touching each other as soon as they first discovered that along with touches came pounding hearts and warm palms and shared breathes. That gave way to hiding beneath the covers together, losing themselves in the sensations one another provided. They spent an entire summer getting closer and closer to actually having sex, until one night Will pushed inside of Jem and watched pain and pleasure cross Jem's face. Will could still remember how he felt that night, as if the rest of the world didn't exist, it was only he and Jem. He had cared so deeply for the boy beneath him, he thought he might cry out of joy for how monumentous it felt, or fear for the pain he was causing Jem. In the end, he merely held on tight and crushed his lips to Jem's, not stopping until it was over.

The next morning, he woke up with Jem in his arms, feeling like he would never need anyone else in his life, if he only had Jem. Something was changed between them, and back then, they thought it was for the best.

"I'll love you forever," Jem had said. "You are the only person I will ever need in my life." Will believed him.

Now, seeing Jem acting coy, like he hadn't spent the night with Tessa, his wife, Will wanted to hate him. He wanted to call their marriage a sham, and yet as Jem put an arm around Tessa's waist, guiding her to a chair, the gold of his wedding ring flashing on his left hand, he couldn't help but feel happy for them. Jem had found someone to be with, and Will had no choice but to support them.

"Good morning," Jem said.

"Good morning," Will replied.

Jem and Tessa spent the next few weeks acting as inconspicuous as possible, but the evidence of their love was everywhere. They were always together, always holding hands (and occasionally kissing) and yet they never forgot about Will. They invited him along on excursions into town and picnics. They were never intimate ever again, not that Will wanted to be. He saw the way Jem looked at Tessa, like she was everything he had ever dreamed of, and could never imagine coming between them. Jem and Tessa were happy together, happy and in love, and that was all the mattered.

Every day spent together was like a dream, Will felt. There was nothing bad going on, and yet Will watched, every day, and saw Jem growing weaker. He no longer wanted to leave the Institute but instead was content to sit in the library with Tessa and Will. He began saving his smiles only for Tessa and always assured her he was fine. Jem appeared healthy to everyone, but Will saw the way Jem carried himself when Tessa wasn't watching. In those times, it seemed like merely walking was difficult, and so Will helped him whenever he could. Twice he woke up to the sound of Jem outside his bedroom, leaning against a wall, coughing blood into a handkerchief. Both times, Jem looked up at Will, shaking his head, silently saying, _"please, don't tell her."_ Will never did, but he saw it every morning in Tessa's eyes. She already knew.

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><p>It was early dawn, a month after the wedding, when Will opened his eyes as the door to his bedroom creaked open. Tessa closed the door and crossed the room quickly. He closed his eyes again and listened to her quiet breathes beside the bed before he lifted his hand, offering it to her. She took it and climbed into his bed and he pulled the covers up around her shoulders. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him, so her back was flush against his chest and his face was buried in her hair.<p>

They lay that way for an undetermined amount of time. Somewhere, a grandfather clocked chimed the hour. The kitchen staff would be getting to work preparing breakfast. Charlotte and Henry would be up, talking quietly as they took a morning walk around the Institute before eating. Gideon would be up next, hoping to steal a few minutes with Sophie before each went off to work on their own duties. Slowly but surely, the Institute would wake up, and come back to life.

But Will stayed in bed with Tessa. He kept his arm around her waist and felt her hand wrapped around his and press to her stomach. Lying together like this was improper. Tessa was a married woman and Will was the boy who could no longer loved her the way he once had. It was improper that they share a bed, let alone be this intimate, but Will couldn't decide what to do next and neither could Tessa.

"Tell me," Will finally whispered.

"How can I?" Tessa asked.

"You have to say it," Will said.

In response, Tessa sat up and climbed out of the bed, still holding Will by the hand. He climbed out of bed and followed her from the room, not caring that he was dressed only in pajama pants. It was improper that Tessa see him that way. It didn't matter. Tessa pulled Will down the hallway and Will followed her all the way to her and Jem's room. She pushed the door open and Will went inside to find Jem laying in the bed, the covers pulled around his waist, his eyes closed, his arm laying across his chest, his wedding ring still plain to see. he had never taken it off, not once in an entire month.

Will crawled across the bed and Tessa followed him. They knelt beside Jem and Will closed his eyes and leaned his face down close to Jem's, already knowing he would feel… nothing.

"When?" Will asked.

"Sometime during the night. In his sleep," Tessa said. "When I woke up I found him like this. He's… he's gone, Will." Will straightened and gripped Tessa's hand tighter. "You were the first person I knew to tell. No one else knows."

"We need to tell them," Will said. He looked up at Tessa then to see her gray eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Tess…"

"We've lost him," Tessa whispered. "We've really lost him, haven't we?" Will just nodded slowly. Tessa crumbled then, her hands on her stomach, her sobs breaking through the early morning silence of the Institute. Will wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against his body, and together they cried for a very long time, until Tessa's gasps became painful and Will pulled away from her, looking into her eyes, his hands on her jaw.

"Breathe, Tessa. Just breathe. It's going to be alright," Will said. He knew in that moment he had to be strong for her, as he always had been. Tessa took several breathes and settled herself, then reached up and brushed some tears from Will's cheek.

"What happens next?" Tessa asked.

"We keep breathing," Will replied, "We keep going."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review! Thank you for reading! Epilogue to follow!<strong>


	14. Epilogue

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story, as well as any other story of mine that you read and enjoyed. I always say that I would write if no one was reading but knowing that what I write is being read makes this process fun.**

**A big, big thanks to the readers I know by name (you know who you are) who gave me feedback and encouragement whenever I needed it and gave me a reason to write even when I wanted to sob into my keyboard and have massive fictional character related meltdowns. I hope to stay in contact with you all as I go forth into the next great adventure of my life.**

**This will be my last fanfiction as I have to now focus fully on my own novel. I'm sorry to be leaving (I'll never be completely gone…) but I've spent enough time here. Thank you all, once more, for all of your kind words and your time spent reading. You have made this experience more rewarding than I ever thought possible. Good luck to everyone!**

**Once more: I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

"You have got to keep your eyes up," Will said. "Don't look down. Don't look at your feet. Focus on your opponent. Keep your eyes up… shoulders square, Cecily! Now try again." He lifted his sword to block the first blow that came from the girl standing three feet from him, then jumped back as she came at him again, fearless and strong. Cecily. The only family he had left.

Will hadn't thought he would survive after Jem died. He was certain that he would die and might have had it not been for Cecily, who pulled him out of his gloom and forced him to interact with people when he didn't want to. When he wanted to lay in bed for days at a time, it was Cecily who would not allow that. She pestered him insistently and made every waking moment a nightmare until he finally relented and did whatever she asked of him, until they fell into a routine of quiet studying in the library, along with training in the art of Shadowhunting.

Cecily had come a long way in the four months since her arrival at the Institute. She studied the Codex tirelessly and memorized chapters of it, devouring it with the same vigor Will had when he came to the Institute at the age of twelve. She and Will spent a night in the Silent City where she had protective enchantments laid upon her by the Silent Brothers, and a week after that, with Charlotte's supervision, Will etched Cecily's first rune, an iratze, into the skin over her heart. They never talked about the past, or what had brought either of them to London. They only focused on facing the future, together once more.

"Eyes up!" Will exclaimed. The training room door creaked open and Gabriel Lightwood walked in, talking quietly with Gideon. Will glanced over at them and felt a blade slice though the sleeve of his shirt. He jumped backwards and looked down to see that he was uninjured. She had only meant to warn him, not harm him.

"Eyes up," Cecily said, her blue eyes dancing with glee. "Focus on your opponent."

"The young lady has a point, Herondale," Gabriel said, a smirk on his face. He gave Cecily a polite nod. "You should take your own advice."

"You should mind your own business," Will snapped. "Try again, Cecily." Cecily lifted her sword and lunged at him once again, and Will, certain that she was going to skewer him through at any second, laughed and blocked each and every blow.

* * *

><p>It wasn't Magnus's preferred means of transportation but there was no other way, not for Tessa, not yet, anyway. She was so new at this world still, despite all she had seen, it seemed wrong to subject her to anything frightening, and so they set out for two week's journey on a steamer ship to New York, back to the place Tessa had come from, in the late summer of 1878.<p>

Magnus knew it would be different for her, and yet the same, although, they had plans. They would get a house together and he would teach her what she needed to know. Life stretched out before them, unpredictable and yet comfortable, because they would be together.

"Do you think we'll ever go back?" Tessa asked. They were sitting on the deck of the ship as it moved slowly into port. It was early morning and foggy, the sky just changing form pink to gray.

"We can go wherever you want," Magnus said. Tessa stood up as the engines beneath them shuddered to a halt and Magnus stood beside her, running his hand over hers as it clung to the railing. She still wore her wedding ring on her left hand. Magnus could remember the night a month ago when she told him she couldn't be with Will, not having been married to Jem. It felt wrong to her. She had to start over, somewhere other than the city that held far to many memories.

Time had changed the three of them, and Jem's death had been the final nail in the coffin. When Magnus and Tessa departed London, Will had held Tessa tight against him for a long while, and then he had let her go, although, Magnus knew he had let her go long before then.

"We should see Italy," Tessa said.

"Just not Rome. Not for a few years," Magnus said, and Tessa laughed.

"Tuscany, then," She said. "And France, and…"

"We can see it all," Magnus said.

Tessa took Magnus's hand as they left the ship and took their first steps back into New York and America. Here, the buildings were tall, the sky a different shade of smoke. It was the same as London, and yet completely different. As Tessa pulled Magnus into the future they would now share, Magnus could do nothing but follow her lead.

**The End**


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